Wednesday, October 8, 2008

February 2006 Archives

February 26, 2006
This here ain't Mr. Rogers' neighborhood
The people across the street moved out this weekend, made obvious by the giant pile of trash out front...and even more obvious by the loads of trash-picking rednecks that have been rooting through it all day. I've seen at least three trucks stop and have someone get out to dig through the boxes and bags at the curb. How hard up do you have to be to go out in broad daylight and root through someone's nasty-ass garbage? This neighborhood kills me.
Although on the upside, any time we want to get rid of something, we just put it out front with a "free" sign, and it's gone in less than 30 minutes. I put an old, broken washing machine out front a few years ago, and by the time I had gone inside to make a "free" sign and come back out, it was gone. By the time I reached the end of the driveway with an old bookcase, people were already scrambling out of their houses to claim it.
Living in a neighborhood of crazy rednecks has few upsides. We at least got rid of the old man who ran a leafblower at 8am every weekend morning, even when there wasn't a single speck of dirt left within 30 feet of him. And we got rid of the abusive psychopath next door who beat his wife and kids on the front porch. He also bred pit bulls that would occasionally get loose and run the neighborhood. This guy would also park his minivan in the driveway, crank up the radio, and then go in the house to listen to it...with the windows of the house shut. We had to hear the screaming matches when his wife/girlfriend/cousin left him for his brother. Those were a blissful few weeks when she moved out. But then she came back, presumably because he was her baby-daddy, and it all started back up.
And then there was the Saturday morning that we were awakened by the sounds of hammering at about 7am one summer. Curious, we "went out to get some food" and discovered that he and a handful of his redneck buddies were building a fence across the front of his property between his rented house and our chainlink fence. The hammering continued well after dark that day and through the next. On one hand, we were grateful that he would no longer be cranking his radio in the driveway right outside our bedroom window. On the other, the pit bulls were now released into the yard.
Keep in mind, it's against city code to have a fence across the front of your yard in our city, so this guy obviously didn't have a building permit. Two days later, our landlord saw what he had done and called the city. The hodgepodge fence constructed of multi-colored wood bits was apparently an eyesore in his opinion. The next day, the crazy redneck had to tear down the entire fence, which he did while spewing expletives. We were just gleeful that he was put through a huge hassle. He piled the wood planks between his garage and our fence, and they've been there ever since.
After putting up with this kind of crap for four years, one summer we decided to call the cops on him about five times a week. I like to think they decided to move because of it. Although, towards the end, I think he had start using a police scanner, as every time we called the cops, he would mysteriously stop doing whatever he was doing within about five minutes.
We've only had two sets of neighbors in that house since then, and both have been mildly annoying. But that's what you get. The only reason I miss living in the country is the privacy. There's nothing like walking out your backdoor knowing that you could be completely naked, covered in marshmallow fluff, and not a single person would see you.
February 24, 2006
Something I will never understand is women who apply mascara while driving. Forget that you're a danger to everyone around you as you stare into the rearview mirror. If you so much as go over a bump, you've just rammed a mascara wand into your eyeball. And how can you possibly apply it with any amount of finesse?
Rather than walking into work with slashes of mascara around your one good eye, why not just apply the damn stuff when you park your car? Or even better, in the restroom when you get to work? I mean seriously, who the hell is going to notice you're not wearing mascara when you first arrive. I'm usually so out of it when I get to work that I'm doing my best to remain upright at my desk for the first 20 minutes.
February 23, 2006
My PhotoShop conference ended up being awesome. It was everything I've been trying to figure out but couldn't for the last 6 months. I knew there had to be easier, better ways to do the things I do. And...well...there are. And now I know them.
I think most of the people in the seminar got a lot out of it. We all sat there laughing at our own stupidity and smacking ourselves in the forehead when the instructor showed us the quick, easy way to do our jobs. It was pretty funny. This is probably a pretty good representation of what we all looked like during the class:
That's right. We turned into excited Japanese high school students. Odorokubeki!
Today was a mad game of catch up at work. I think I have things under control that tomorrow will be normal again. And next Wednesday, I have to go to Columbus for the Shareholders meeting. ick. Oh well, at least the morning rush hour drive to Columbus is FAR better than the one to Cincinnati. Traffic was a total nightmare yesterday morning at the 75-275 junction. I can't believe I considered taking that shitty job on the far side of Cincy last summer. I would have been miserable with that commute. I remember calculating the salary I would need to compensate for the gas I would use, and it was based on "IF gases prices EVER climbed to a whopping $1.99/gallon." Hah! We all wish gas was ONLY $1.99/gallon now. I'd have had to quit and find another job.
I <3 my job. Thank you god.
February 20, 2006
Another day
I had to meet with a WSU student who interviewed me for his Communications class. I had to do it when I took the class, too. This was the 2nd year I've volunteered for it. At least this year, the kid was prepared and even recorded the interview as well as took notes to questions he had thought up ahead of time.
Last year, I had the obligatory jock who had no idea what he was doing and didn't have enough brains to even attempt to figure it out. This guy didn't even show up with pen and paper. He's that guy that skates through everything and never gets caught. I wanted to kick him in the balls.
And just for fun...
You are the rare, the overlooked, yet incredibly useful dodecahedron: the d12. You are a creative, romantic soul. You often act without thinking but make up for your lack of plans with plenty of heart. You easily solve problems that stump others, but your answers tend to put you into even deeper trouble. You write long, detailed backgrounds for all your characters, and are most likely to dress up as one or get involved in cos-play. You can be silly at times and are easily distracted by your own day dreams, but are at the end of the day you're someone who can be depended on.
February 19, 2006
Insert witty header here
Nothing terribly exciting has been going on. I have a PhotoShop class in Cincinnati on Wednesday, which should prove interesting. I was concerned that the beginner class would be a lot of re-hash, but I'm also concerned that the advanced one might be over my head. But I guess I'll find out. I'll definitely learn something.
I had some weird stomach thing today. I felt really nauseated but not sick...if that makes any sense. It's finally gone away this evening. After eating two meals that made me want to die, I stuck with chicken and rice with plain wheat toast for dinner. Went down just fine. I still feel a little blah. I'm definitely going to go to bed early tonight.
We've had a really awful cold snap here this week. It was 4°F last night. Ick. I'm so ready for spring. I'm really looking forward to Vegas. I just want one nice 80° day to hit the pool. It happened last time we went in March. I'm crossing my fingers. Although, I'm really not looking forward to flying. I hate flying. Hopefully, they'll have an in-flight movie that I either haven't seen or don't mind seeing again. It will take my mind off the ordeal.
February 13, 2006
Dear Abby
When printing something highly confidential, it would probably be a good idea to A) know which printer you sent it to and B) make sure you're there when the printer spits it out.
If you do not follow the above two steps, do not loudly complain that someone laid your highly confidential materials out where everyone can see them. Chances are, no one has a clue how to interpret the 42 graphs and spreadsheets you've printed or gives two craps about it if they did.
February 12, 2006
/Social commentary on
One thing I really hate is when people say shitty, mean things and then say, "I was just joking." Mockery, ridicule, teasing, and acting like a 14-yr-old snot are NOT funny. Shitting on someone's parade because, in your socially inept world YOU think it's funny, is NOT funny. If someone walks in with a new cell phone they're really excited about, and you say, "Wow, what a piece of shit. I know lots of people who think they're pieces of shit." It isn't funny. It's rude. It's you trying bring them down a notch because you have a personal problem with them being happy.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't pretend that rude, backhanded comments are just jokes, because they're not. They're nothing more than a way to shit on people because you have low self esteem and refuse to confront any of your personal demons and, therefore, try to bring everyone else down to your level.
I lived it. I lived it for 5 long years. And I'm done with it.
February 11, 2006
Round 2
My grandma broke the coveted moustache cup. /sigh Mom said she called her and was extremely upset. Poor grammy. hehe So next Saturday, we're going to hit another antique mall and search for another one. I think we'll find something at this place.
February 9, 2006
Top Four
Stolen from NikChik's blog:
Four jobs I've had
1. Marketing Associate
2. Business Communications Specialist
3. Customer Care Team Lead
4. 3rd Key

Four movies I can watch over and over
1. Under the Tuscan Sun
2. Thomas Crown Affair
3. French Kiss
4. Sense & Sensibility

Four places I've lived
1. Piqua, OH
2. Conover, OH
3. Fairborn, OH
4. ...hopefully soon Kettering, OH

Four TV shows I love
1. Battlestar Galactica
2. Full Metal Alchemist
3. Ghost in the Shell: SAC 2
4. Rome

Four places I've vacationed
1. Toronto, ON, CA
2. Clearwater, Florida
3. Las Vegas, Nevada
4. Milwaukee, WI

Four of my favorite dishes (to cook)
1. Ziti
2. Barley with Asparagus and Carrot
3. Chicken Quesadillas
4. Baked Potato Wedges

Four sites I visit daily
2. - Celebrity News
3. Wil Wheaton

Four places I would rather be right now
1. Italy
2. the French Riviera
3. at a movie
4. Toronto

Four jobs I'd like to have
1. Internationally Famous Photographer
2. Clothing Designer
3. Painter
4. Architect

Four places I'd like to live
1. Tokyo
2. Tuscany
3. Madrid
4. New Mexico

Four books I love
1. Game of Thrones
2. Mists of Avalon
3. Elvenbane
4. Redwall

Four places I'd like to vacation
1. Tuscany
2. Tokyo
3. Munich
4. England

Four of my favorite dishes (to eat)
1. Grilled Calamari (from the Astoria in Toronto)
2. Club Sandwich w/ a side of ranch
3. Italian Soup w/ a grilled cheese
4. Lasagna
February 8, 2006
Catching up
At least yesterday wasn't a total loss. We were back at the office by 4pm, and my boss told me to go home and rest. I was able to get my frames; my insurance was fixed. And I was able to make a trip to the salon to horde some hair product. I was extremely upset to find out that Redken stopped making the only hairspray I have ever liked. Bastards.
I have to crank out five ads by Monday for review. I probably should have brought my laptop home and worked on them. But oh well.
I'm looking forward to going out with Amanda Friday. Mike's DJing, so it should be a fun night.
February 7, 2006
Sunday was one of the worst days I've had since October. I got up and started my car to go to the grocery. When I came back in, I opened the fridge only to have a precariously perched glass bottle of iced tea that was propped up against the jug of orange juice tumble out as the door opened and shatter into approximately 453,657,891 microscopic shards on my kitchen floor. After screaming a few expletives and scaring Kev out of bed to investigate, I did a make-shift mop of the floor and left.
When I came back, I was already pissed that I had to do a comprehensive mopping of the kitchen floor. And I was feeling very tired and stressed from having to take care of a lot of extra things since Kev has been sick so much this winter. I did the dishes and mopped the floor, and as I was sliding the bag of kitty litter down the side of the washing machine where I store it, it caught on something and ripped wide open, spilling about 40 tons of litter all over the damn place. I lost it.
In the aftermath, the mop lost its life, the cats were hiding under the couch, and Kev was scared out of bed a second time that morning to the sound of me flipping the F--- out. And I mean FLIPPING OUT. heh
After the hysterics ended, Amanda came over to have lunch with me. She helped me pick out some new frames, and when I went to pay for them, they told me that my vision benefits had already been used, which wasn't true. So I couldn't buy them until I called my Dr. to tell them to fix it.
And then that night, several weeks of a strange, possibly chemical-induced skin reaction hit a point where it made me realize I wouldn't be able to survive a two-day business trip. So Kev hauled me to an Urgent Care at 9:30pm, and then we had to go find a 24-hour Pharmacy. I hadn't even started packing yet, so I knew I wasn't getting to bed anytime soon. Around 1am, I finally managed to fall asleep.
At 4am, I woke up feeling sick as hell from the medication. I laid there the rest of the night wide awake and miserable. While trying to finish packing in the morning, I felt like I was going to hurl. I was so out of it that I packed completely bizarre things for an overnight trip, like 3 pairs of socks and 4 pair of underwear. And I forgot to pack several important things.
Despite it all, I still managed to get to work, and we left for our road trip on time. I ended up sleeping the entire 3-hour trip on the way there, and finally felt decent enough to sit upright by the time we got to our destination. ugh.
February 4, 2006
Who Vants a Mustache Cup?
I do! I do! Well, my grandma does. I helped my mom hunt through an antique mall today to find a mustache cup for my grandma's collection. For those of you who just said, "What the F-CK is a mustache cup, it was a tea cup with a lip and hole that prevented your monster mustachio from getting soaked in tea. See below.
I saw a really awesome antique ruby ring that had I that kind of cash, it would have been mine. It was very, very cool. I also found a single collection of kickass, antique knives from Persia, Japan, and India.
Last night, I went to the Foundry and hung out with Mike. There was yet another B.O. problem on the dance floor. Only this time, Mike makes a face and says, "I'm being PBAOE'd!!" I replied, "And he's got 6 ranks of Stink!" We're such nerds. Every time the Rob-Zombie-Cowboy-Hat-wearing dipshit got on the dance floor, there was an instant exodus away from his general area. Suddenly, a 10 foot buffer of empty space was created in every direction around him. Deodorant is your friend, man. Seriously. I swear I never encountered it like this at 14's or at Asylum. This is just ridiculous.
And I ended up buying the shirts I drooled over in my last post. I did get 2 City Cash coupons that are good for $15 off my next $30 purchase. So that's half off a $60 purchase. That'll be perfect for picking out some shizat for my Bday. But they are for work, so it's not a frivolous waste of money.
February 3, 2006
Mike and I ended up hitting Amar India on Wed. for lunch. Mike immediately headed over to the buffet after I perused it and returned to the table, unimpressed. Having eaten several times at Ajanta, who offers a lunch portion, the following ensued.
Me: Could I get a lunch portion of Chicken Korma?
Waiter: [confused angry look crosses his face] Lunch portion? We don't have that.
Me: Is the Chicken Tikka Masala on the buffet kind of similar to the Korma?
Waiter: [confused angry look crosses his face] No! Not similar! Eat buffet. You will like it. Much variety. [exit waiter]
Mike: [returns to table from getting buffet]
Me: I'm getting the buffet.
Mike: Huh? Okay. What happened?
Me: I'm afraid of the waiter. He's really scary. [slinks off to the buffet in fear and shame]

This waiter never returned to fill our water glasses until we were long finished eating, which is the kiss of death on a tip for me. I like water and lots of it. Keep it coming, and I'd probably tip you well even if you took a hot dump on my food right on the table.
February 2, 2006
No Friggin' Sharks with Laserbeams Afterall
The people from the spa that host our medical spa decided to re-do the schedule a third time. And when they removed all of my company's employees and replaced them with their own, they didn't even have enough courtesy to call any of us and tell us so. So I sat around for an hour waiting to be told they'd have to TRY to fit me in next Wed. I was pissed. It was the second time my boss has seen me get mad since I started working there. I think it scares her. lol But it happens a whole lot less than it ever used it. I <3 Buspar.
Oh well, hurrah for getting out of work for an hour and a not be working...
Anyway, I've been catching up with some old EQ friends this week, and it's been pleasant hearing things are going well for them. I've almost got things under control at work again. I stopped at the mall and drooled at some shirts I really shouldn't buy...but might anyway. Hmmmm.
February 1, 2006
Friggin' Sharks with Laserbeams
Yes, I've seen Fear of Girls. I watched it last week. It was hysterical, and I loved it. Stop spamming me with the link. Thank you.
I'm getting some spider veins zapped tomorrow at my company's new medical spa. It's free, so I figured why not. I've hated them since they appeared in my early 20s. A lot of my coworkers are having other things done, like Botox, collagen injections, chemical peels, etc. They even have a "liposuction alternative" where they inject fat-dissolving stuff into your love handles and such. And from what I've heard, it's excruciating.
I'm watching people waddle around the office in misery from some of the procedures they've had done, and all I can think is why? Two of the people who had collagen injected into their lips look absolutely no different than they did before. And all they talked about today was how they've been unable to eat or drink for almost two days because of the pain. That's great. I mean, sure having leg veins zapped is pure vanity, and I'm really freaked out about what it will be like, but it's not my face. And there will be a definite difference in before and after...not just an extra millimeter of poutiness or paralyzed face muscles.
I just don't get why people who don't look over 30 would want to go through something like this. And it's not like it's permanent. It wears off in 6 months, and you have to go through it all again just to maintain. A couple of women about age 25 had chemical peels. They look like they should be in high school still. Why the hell would they have this done? I can understand some of the other women who are in their late 50s getting it done. But at 25? I just don't get it.
I watch way too much Discovery Health Channel, and while I have developed an unhealthy fear of child-birthing from it, I have also come to despise plastic surgeons who say things like, "Well you really don't even have to wear lipstick on your upper lip because you don't have one" in order to sell lip implants and collagen injection. And that is an actual quote. They prey on the insecurities of people to make cash. It's disgusting. I can guarantee when I go in to have my legs zapped, they'll try to convince me to do other procedures, and I'm just not falling for it. Aging doesn't really bother me. I look at my parents and grandparents, and I just don't see the horror in it.
Time is inescapable. And after losing 8 people in the last 8 years, 2 of whom were under the age of 35, I think the truly lucky get to grow old. I hope and pray every day I will be so lucky.