December 31, 2005
Sweet merciful crap
I watched The Exorcist: The Beginning this afternoon. I can't believe that made it to a theater screen. As a straight-to-video production, I could've given it some credit. But damn, it was so bad, that I'll be able to sleep tonight. At the end, all I could think was, "wait a minute, Exorcist movies can't have happy endings!?" Three seconds later, the happy ending was a not-so-happy ending, and I was satisfied with at least that.
Later, I watched Alexander. It was on HBO, so I figured why not. If I didn't have the flu before I watched it, I have it now. I don't even know what the hell was going on in this movie. There's a battle scene with nothing but blowing dust, bizarre artsy montages thrown in at seemingly random moments, an all-red battle scene with day-glo body fluids, and heavy-handed moral lessons at every turn. Oliver Stone needs to retire. You've lost it you old bugger. Give it up.
I had that mole removed from my toe yesterday. I almost fainted; it was great. I was dizzy the rest of the night, and my toe hurt like hell. It doesn't hurt nearly as bad today, but I'm not so keen on the "washing it with soap and water" twice a day. Not because I'm not down with hygiene but because it really fucking hurts.
And I found out our neighbors are moving out at the end of January. I was displeased to hear that. God knows what kind of redneck trash we'll end up with living over there now. I think we're going to go ahead and apply for a mortgage and see what we can get or at least how to get where we need to be. I want out of here by spring. With a little luck, our landlord will take his sweet time cleaning the adjoining apartment, and he'll have a hard time finding someone to live in this craptacular neighborhood.
December 28, 2005
When the music died...
Local music lost its appeal for me some time ago. While the Dayton scene has turned out some pretty decent stuff (some people would insert Guided by Voices and Braniac here), most of it leaves me feeling uninspired and uninterested. I enjoyed Mondolux back in the day, probably more for the experience of hanging out with someone who thought he was a rock star than the actual music, but even that lost its appeal after going to a few parties and watching the band drink themselves into a hospital visit.
I've heard nothing in the last 5 years that really kicks my ass. I used to be really into the local scene when I was younger. I mean, really, what else did we have? Dayton bands were the most exciting thing we'd seen since wheat-harvesting season. We listened to punk, ska, more punk, gritter punk, and whatever else played at the hole in the wall we frequented. Voodoo Glow Skulls and the illustrious Bu-Bu Clan were some of the highlights, but Haunting Souls and Scream Bloody Murder were two of my favorites. Some of those guys have new bands, but again, nothing they've recently put out has really appealed to me.
I like Blink 182 (pre-Enema of the State). I saw them on tour for Dude Ranch, and they were awesome. They were still playing crapholes like Newport back then. They weren't playing in stadiums packed full of 14-yr-old girls and 19-yr-old frat boys wear macramé ball-bearing necklaces. I'd like to see them again, but I'm convinced the experience would be vastly different and not nearly as personal. I'm disappointed in the Punk-pop movement as a whole.
I stumbled upon Purtle's new band Luxury Pushers. They have a few songs you can listen to, and if that's the best they have to offer, I'm not getting up off my couch to go sit in a smoky bar with a bunch of people who think they are AWESOME. /yawn. As my friend Amy put it: Dayton bands all sound the same because they're composed of the same five people that have been forming bands in Dayton for the past 15 years.
Kim Deal apparently realized the Breeders were over (10 years too late), so she finally relented and reunited with The Pixies. Don't get me wrong. The Pixies are my all-time favorite band EVER, but Kim Deal is a skank. Kev and Mike saw her in Best Buy, and she was just dirty. My former boss, who is big on the local blues/rock scene, said he saw her several times in the studios where he recorded. His only comment: "She REALLY needs to take a bath."
You have a long way to go professionally if the only thing people can say about you entails suggestions on personal hygiene.
For now, I guess I'll continue to enjoy Goth night on Fridays, which has now moved to the Foundry, a steel foundry converted into a club. Very cool.
And finally:
TOP 10 REASONS WHY SEX AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS NOT AN ADVISABLE FORM OF PROCREATION
December 27, 2005
Santa God and Co.
My lack of updates are due more to not having my own PC than having nothing to say. I'm doing updates from my bot, and it's just a pain the ass.
Anyway, it was a good holiday season. I don't know why this year was more stressful than others, but it was. I got some trade paperbacks: Quitter by Harvey Pekar, The Watchmen by Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons, and the Hellblazer the movie was very, very roughly based on. I got the usual assortment of new wardrobe pieces, the full series of Buffy on DVD, an Ultimate Spa Day, and a WeaselBall for the cats.
But despite all the holiday cheer, I can't help but chime in on the whole "War on Christmas" bullshit that the media drummed up this year. They had to get their greasy hands on it sometime. So-fucking-what if companies aren't just catering to Christianity when they say "Happy Holidays." The fervor the religious Reich has made over this has just made me despise Christianity even more.
WAAAH!! We can't rule the world! WAAAAH!!! Corporations are undermining our grasp on trying running everyone else's life! WAAAAH!! Jews, and Muslims, and Africans have feelings!! THE WORLD IS ENDING BECAUSE WE CAN'T SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
What do I think? Fuck Christianity and their cry-baby bullshit over holidays. Jesus wasn't born on December 25. Most historians believe he was born sometime between January and March. Most of your "roots" were decided over 300 years after the death of Jesus by a Roman convert named Emperor Constantine. Look up the Council of Nicea while you're at it. Take a college level History 101 course and learn some facts about the roots of your religion. Then cry to me about how "oppressed" you are. Christians have done nothing but oppress cultures and peoples throughout history. Christianity is the largest, most successful cult to ever exist. You have waged more wars than any other group in the history of mankind.
WAAAH!!! Shove a menorah in your ass and call it a day.
If I want to say Happy-Fucking-Holidays to include my non-cultist friends, I'll say it. That's what I think.
December 19, 2005
Elbows and Knuckles
I went to Winterfest Sunday night with a friend of mine. It was fun
seeing it again for the first time in 13 years. I went the last year it was open when I was in high school, so it was kind of neat being there the first year it was open since. Obviously, they had stores full of King's Island crap, but they set up one of the large shops with area crafters, which I thought was different. Still total crap, but different.
The photo roaches were still scurrying around the entrance trying to
force you to let them take your picture. I found if you smack them in the face two or three times with a rolled up park map, they leave you alone.
My friend and I stood around for the Scrooge show, which was a puppet controlled by a wise-ass. He probably had the best job at that park. Who else gets to hide behind a black curtain and tell people they're fat, stupid, ugly, and retarded? This coming from the guy who announced Charles Dickens created him "over 200 years ago in the 1840's." Last time I used a calculator, 1840 was only around 165 years ago, not over 200. I said he was a smart ass, not smart.
We rode Scooby's Haunted Castle, an indoor ride with cardboard figures that jump out and go boo. Each little car has a gun that you can shoot targets with. Once I got the hang of it, I hit almost every target at least once, scoring a stellar 1480 points. The highest rank was 800 and above, aptly named "Oh my goodness!". I remember when this thing used to be the Smurf ride. It was one of only a couple of rides open at the park during Winterfest, the other being the carousel, and we'd ride it 15 or 20 times to escape the cold. After that it was Phantom Theater for a while, and we'd ride it for the heat-blasting furnace segment. Your contacts would instantly fuse to your eyes, but you'd be warm for about 15 minutes afterwards.
We walked by the carousel, but it looked viciously cold as it spun around at mach 5 speed in the blowing snow and 10 degree wind chill. Screw that.
Back in the day, King's Island had live entertainment year round. When Paramount bought them out, they opted for large screen TVs and looping Paramount movie highlights. Whee. So I was happy to see that the live entertainment was back with a vengeance with the re-introduction of Winterfest. I was, however, surprised at the lack of talent they managed to dredge up. With the amount of decent, starving ACK-TORS in the Dayton-Cincinnati area, I was amazed they cast two people in their main musical that could barely hit a note. Kids loved it, and that's who it was geared for, so I guess it helped prove to the children that even if you're a no-talent hack, you can still do what you dream of doing. For further proof of this, see Mariah Carey.
After the musical, we watched the lighting of the Eiffel Tower, which
was actually a pretty cool pyrotechnics show. I was standing at the ready with my camera when some guy came up next to me, looked me straight in the eye, and then stepped RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I donkey-punched him in the back of the head and then stood on top of his crumpled body to get a bird's eye view of the show. They shot a rocket from the base of the pond up to the top of the tower (I couldn't tell if it was rigged on a wire or not). When it hit the top of the tower, there was a huge explosion of fireworks, and the whole tower lit up blue. Kids were freaking out over it. I'm sure the unconscious jackass I stood on would have enjoyed it. Dick.
Then we decided to have some dinner at the Festhaus. They had turkey, roast beef, and lasagna dinners. I opted for the roast beef. It tasted like a Dinty Moore microwave meal...you know, the kind that don't have to be refrigerated. The green beans were so salty they sucked every ounce of moisture from the faces of those that ate them, making the Festhaus look like a 60-year high school reunion.
Later, we rode the White Christmas Express, which was a steam-train ride through the woods. Damn it was cold. It had started snowing by this time, and the metal seats on the open-air train were excruciatingly cold. I was convinced my ass had frozen to it and was afraid I'd lose an inch-thick layer of skin when I tried to dismount. I tried some different settings on my new digital camera during the ride, but I found that trying to take pictures with the night setting while shivering on a lurching steam train isn't very easy. In fact, taking pictures while shivering proved be difficult throughout the entire night.
When we got off the train, they were salting down the walkways with the afore-mentioned green beans, which melted the ice and snow before they even touched the ground. The parade route was nearby, so we decided to stand around and wait for it. I hate parades. I elbowed some teenagers in the head to take over one of the few heating stations near a restaurant. It was great for heating my head to 9,000 degree Fahrenheit and drying my eyes in the open position, but my legs were still numb. The parade finally drew near, and all I could do was feel sorry for the poor suckers they got to dance around in tights in snowy, 18-degree weather. For the first time ever, I think the dudes in the Frosty mascot outfits were glad they were surrounded by a 3-inch layer of foam rubber.
I noticed this little old lady of about 90 wearing pantyhose and heels. I was wearing two layers of clothing and was freezing. How this poor old woman didn't wilt and die right there is beyond me. I just wanted to kneel down and start rubbing her legs to restore the circulation.
We decided to warm up somewhere until the light show started. So we made our way back to the Mini-Donut and Coffee Liqueurs stand. I paid $72.50 for said mini-donuts and a hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps. Finally, we headed back out to see the light show, which proved mediocre at best. It was a poor man's Bellagio fountain.
We decided to use the only indoor bathroom back at Festhaus before we left. There was some guy attempting to juggle on the stage, and we watched him as we left. In the span of thirty seconds, he dropped a bowling pin three times. I shouted, "Keep practicing, Zeppo!" and
promptly ran for the car before he could chuck a pin at me.
I'll put up a gallery tomorrow. Tonight, I'm too tired.
December 11, 2005
Lions and witches and midgets. Oh my!
I saw Narnia yesterday. It was cute, and the CGI was really fantastic. But it left me wanting. I've never read C.S. Lewis's series, so I don't have anything to compare it to. But I will say that it was a really great family film, other than a little carnage. If your kid can survive Bambi's mother getting her brains blown out, they can handle this.
I could definitely see some of the Xtian themes C.S. Lewis liked to portray, and I really didn't have a problem with them. The media likes to rankle everyone up about the stupidest things. There's nothing wrong with teaching your kids about self-sacrifice, forgiveness, and bravery. It was no Jesus Chainsaw Massacre, thankfully.
I got 31 in DAoC last night, thanks to DV PLing me like mad. They're talking about making some Albs on the other classic server. I was curious as to why they chose to play Mid again in the first place. We've all been there, done that once. But I'll probably go where they go, unless they play a sci-fi themed game. Bleh. Hopefully, they learned their lesson with Star Wars Galaxies. lmao
December 10, 2005
So long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye.
I went to the closing of The Asylum last night. It had a pretty good crowd, but it was no where near the send-off 1470s had. Asylum was the first place I ever went dancing 10 years ago. Makes me a little sad, but someone will pick up the crowd eventually. We've proven we can bring in the numbers.
I was displeased with their addition of a cage to the middle of the dance floor that could be raised and lowered. The dance floor was small enough as it was that they didn't need to make it smaller. Most of the buffalo-esque women that went up in that thing, no one wanted to see anyway. I saw full-on vag in that cage enough times that anything less was boring. Sweater-and-jeans-wearing drunk 19-yr-old sorority girls pretending to be lesbians to shock everyone? Boring. Unless they stripped down to a thong and electrical tape X's on their nipples, it wasn't the least bit eye-catching to most of the people there. I've seen enough that it takes a LOT to make me double-take.
I think I almost got in a fight, too. I'm still not sure, and...well...I don't really care. I found it kind of funny, really. You're on a dance floor. People will bump into you. You do the "I'm sorry" hand, smile, and go about your business. Apparently, I bumped into her, and the Grand Duchess of Goth took it as an attack. She stopped and stared me; I just kept dancing. While as tall as I am, she weighed approximately 4 lbs. She was so skinny, she'd have probably snapped in half if I exhaled on her. So I just ignored her, which apparently enraged her further.
As I turned my back on her, she let loose this ridiculous howling scream at me. I couldn't help it; I laughed. I mean, who the f--- does that? REALLY? Before she could do anything else, her boyfriend dragged her off the dance floor. I think he dragged her right out of the club because I didn't see her the rest of the night.
It's amazing how bold people get when they think they're never going to see you again. Guys start approaching you like cockroaches, blowing on your back and grabbing your ass at the bar, trying to talk to you while mid-seizure on the dance floor, and getting really, really drunk to try to cover it up. One guy even walked up to the girl next to me and grabbed her boob. What the hell? If I were her, I'd have kicked him in the dick. Nobody touches me.
In general, I avoid talking to people at the club. If someone approaches me, I usually walk away before they can say anything, or I try to be nice but obviously disinterested. I go to dance and nothing else. Some guy that had tried to talk to me numerous times, only to find me running away, cornered me in Mike's DJ booth last night. It's nothing personal. It's not that he's not an attractive guy because he is. It's just...what's the point? You know? He has zero chance of anything going further than a short, polite introduction, so why waste either of our time? That and I find some of his acquaintances most unsavory.
But honestly, I secretly like being an enigma. Who is that woman? Why doesn't she talk to anyone? I'm so lame. heh
I'm not 19 anymore. I don't feel like I have to take part in some kind of popularity contest. I don't need physical attention, i.e. hugging everyone in sight and making a show of who I know. I don't need the approval of a bunch of kids in white-face and Patten leather. I have no desire to social climb, and I hate politics. I just like to dance. And Goth kids just happen to be the best crowd to leave you alone to do that.
December 8, 2005
I went to a tradeshow seminar in Columbus today. Overall, it was an enlightening experience. The afternoon session was marred by some over-caffeinated, inconsiderate cow who felt the need to compulsively and randomly click her pen for 2 hours. Several times I looked behind me, made eye contact, looked down at her Turret's possessed hand clutched around her pen, and looked back into her eyes. She didn't get it. She was vibrating in her chair so fast that she probably could have moved through walls á la The Flash.
Short of pouncing on her from the back of my chair, stabbing her in the fucking eye with my own pen, and then madly clicking it while it was lodged in her skull, I don't think she'd have got it. She also kicked my chair for about an hour before I finally just moved it. What the fuck is wrong with people? I want a euthanasia request form, where when someone is so god damn inconsiderate and stupid, you can request to have them put down for the good of the rest of the world. Amen.
And now, buckeyes.
1 stick butter (softened)
1 ½ cups peanut butter
1 box powdered sugar (small bag)
1 tsp vanilla
12 oz chocolate chips
½ stick paraffin**
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It's now snowing like a hoozatch. We're supposed to get 6 inches overnight, which really isn't that much. But in Ohio, people forget how to drive on snow every friggin' year. Therefore, the first snow each year is filled with a plethora of traffic accidents and stupid people driving way too fast. It's an absolute snow dump right now, and we had a good quarter inch in the first 30 minutes. I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up with more than 6 inches. I may very well be working from home tomorrow.
December 6, 2005
I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I've been having these overwhelming feelings of nostalgia, especially when I listen to woxy.com.
Music was a central part of my life when I was younger. As the only independent, indie station I know of, WOXY plays a lot of the type of music I listened to back then. I spent every weekend night hanging out and listening to whatever bands were booked at the only place available to us. I probably saw my husband play there back then, which always strikes me as funny. Passing ships in the night...
I ran into someone a couple weeks ago I hadn't seen for over a decade. Scoot still looked the same. And no, that's not a typo. He still had the same disgusting dreads, but age hasn't done him well. We hung out at earlier-said club, and he ultimately got me involved with He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named. It got me thinking about the past, which I hate.
I despise nostalgia. It's depressing. Those times are gone, and they're never coming back. Why re-hash it? Live in the present and move on. I don't need to re-visit my mistakes for 1000th time or think about how things could have been if I'd made different choices. I'm here, in the now, and things are fine. I don't care about old, rusted out friendships or people I made out with in the back seat of a car 12 years ago. I don't like remembering most of my childhood. So, nostalgia, you can just crawl back into the shoebox you came out of and stay there. Shoo.
I also keep feeling this sense of dread that I'm going to run into He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named. It's probably just anxiety, but it's been going on for a solid month. He ran off to another state, so it would be very odd that he'd be back here. He has no family in this area. But I guess I have a hard time ignoring the feeling because every time I've experienced something like this, it's happened. I won't be able to stop thinking about someone that I haven't seen in years, and out of the blue, they contact me. It's just weird. Dear jackass, quit ruining my holidays with your psychic harrassment. There, take that.
Maybe it's just 30 looming ahead of me. I feel very weird about turning 30. I never thought I'd be the type of person to be affected by it. I don't FEEL 30. People tell me, "You don't look 29." What's a 29 year old supposed to look like? Am I supposed to have wrinkles and a full head of gray hair? My disastrous trip to the dermatologist did yield something good. She told me I have very young-looking skin. Hurrah! But every time I see my gyno, she feels the need to remind me the clock is ticking, followed with a, "Well, I guess ready is ready." Yeah beotch, it is.
I sit here listening to my friend sitting on my couch command his Nintendog to "sit" and "stay." Maybe that's what I need. A virtual dog. Who wants to take them out in 8°F weather?
December 5, 2005
Kissin' Cats
These are the types of conversations I have over email:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----Original Message-----
From: Kara
Sent: Monday, December 05, 2005 8:46 AM
Subject: Bear Remover
-----Original Message-----
From: Friend
Sent: Monday, December 05, 2005 8:56 AM
To: Kara
Subject: RE: Bear Remover
Very nice, sure am glad my boss isn't here today I was 15 minutes late.
-----Original Message-----
From: Kara
Sent: Monday, December 05, 2005 9:01 AM
To: Friend
Subject: RE: Bear Remover
I have the feeling we're going to get an assload of snow very, very soon.
-----Original Message-----
From: Friend
Sent: Monday, December 05, 2005 9:21 AM
To: Kara
Subject: RE: Bear Remover
You kiss your cats with that mouth?
-----Original Message-----
From: Kara
Sent: Monday, December 05, 2005 9:23 AM
To: Friend
Subject: RE: Bear Remover
Every day. Full-on tongue.
-----Original Message-----
From: Friend
Sent: Monday, December 05, 2005 9:25 AM
To: Kara
Subject: RE: Bear Remover
Not where I was going with that, but tell me more.
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What do you buy a gay man marrying his best friend in a loveless marriage of convenience? A Target gift certificate, that's what. Take note of that, kids. Everyone loves Target. When someone asks you, "Why do you want to get married?", the answer, "Why not?" is probably not recipe for a lasting marriage.
It was a pretty uneventful weekend. Friday we played RoboRally with some friends. That game rocks. Saturday, I got up and did a little more shopping, went to my friend's reception, and then settled in for a night of DAoC. I wanted to go to Kirtan that night for some crazy Hindu chanting, to Leaf & Vine in Troy to hear my friend Keith play, and I wanted to go out dancing. The slickery coating of ice we got kept me at home on the PC. The guys played some poker.
I was supposed to go to GAP outlet with Mom on Sunday. But the drive to Kentucky was out of the question in that crap. Oh well, we have a couple more weekends till Xmas.
I really need to get my ass to yoga this week. I think I'm going to go Tuesday. I've got a marketing seminar in Columbus on Thursday, and it's supposed to get ugly towards evening. So it'll just be another night I don't want to drive to class. Tomorrow, I think I can handle. Why is it that in December you feel like you don't have enough time to accomplish anything? I feel like there's this giant timer looming over me, and the sand is pouring through so fast, it's mesmerizing.
December 2, 2005
Load of crap
So I geared myself up over the past few weeks about getting this thing taken off my toe. I sit in the Dr.'s office for almost 2 hours, only for her to waltz into the room, look at it for 10 seconds, and say, "Yep, you'll need to make an appointment to have that removed."
WHAT????!!!!!111one
What the F--- was I here for? My regular doctor already told me that and sent me here to have it done! So, $#%@#%$#@ I have to go back on the 30th to REALLY have it done. Grrrrrr. What a bunch of crap. I've had to wait until now because if it would end up being cancer (which I sincerely doubt it is), I wouldn't have had any insurance. And quite frankly, I think I'd rather die than put myself $100,000 in debt for cancer treatment at age 29. God bless privatized health care.
And the walls in that place are paper thin. I listened to the Dr. tell some poor old man that the mole he had removed was a melanoma, which in her words,"...is not the best kind of skin cancer you can have." I don't think any kind of cancer could really be considered "the best," it's all terrifying and life altering. But she felt they'd caught it early so his prognosis was very good. Good god.
I'm trying to get things together for a potential Calgary trip in January. We've always hem-hawed on meeting with the DV folks, always meaning to get around to it, but never doing it. Now, we're going to do it...provided we can get the cheap airfare. Otherwise, alas, it will just not be possible financially. At least not for a couple of years.
DAoC is still clunky and inefficient, but DV makes me want to keep playing. (Thanks for the help last night Shevaya. You kept me from logging off and playing WoW. Val owes you a hummer.) I've always been more interested in the people than the game, anyway. Thus the reason I don't play anything but MMORPGs anymore..."life-killers" as my friend Paul describes them.
And Xmas shopping this year is proving difficult. People keep buying the things I intend to buy or have already bought them. Don't people know they're not supposed buy anything for themselves in the month of December?! Harrumph! But seriously, I think I'm just going to throw in the towel and relent to gift certificates this year. I surrender.
And woe is me, I think my hard drive is actually bad and is the root of all my PC problems. After all the shit I went through last week, it's started doing it all over again. The hard drive that I thought it was previously has performed problem free in my bot PC for several weeks. /sigh
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