November 2005 Archive

November 30, 2005

20 years too late

So I get this email at work today from an unnamed acquaintance:

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From: Anonymous
Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2005 3:50 PM
To: Kara
Subject: OMFG

George Michael is GAY??

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111one

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I reply with something like, "Yeah, he got caught blowing some dude in a public restroom 15 years ago and was arrested. You didn't know that?"

Personally, I think the video for "Wake me up before you go-go" should be clue enough.

Let's review:

Gay.

Gay.

Gayest.

Kind of gay.

Amish hat gay.

So in review, G.M. has been very, very gay for nigh on 20 years. Yes, he's still hot, and I can't blame a girl for blocking the gaydar...but still really, really gay.

You made my day, sweetie. hehe

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November 29, 2005

Shades of blah

Last night proved better in DAoC. The guys took me out and PL'd me. They also helped me fix a phantom TeamSpeak problem I've had since...well...forever. (Thanks Beung.) I hit 14 last night, and hopefully it will continue till I'm an appropriate BG level. Leveling in that game sucks balls.

But now I'm torn. I don't feel like I shouldn't have two pay-to-play games at the same time. I like WoW, and if Kev would play, I'd stick with it. But he's barely played in months. And I really, really like playing with the DV gang. They could make shitting glass fun.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see how things are at the end of the month. We really can't afford for me to play two, so I'll have make a decision at some point.

I was supposed to have dinner with an old friend tonight, but she was a no-show. I should have made sure she had my cell number when I made the date last weekend. I don't think she stood me up on purpose, but I have a 20-minute rule and that's that. In the past, I've been stood up by too many people who called themselves my friend, and I refuse to sit around waiting when I could be doing something else. I'll have to get with her and see what happened. It's very likely rush hour traffic was to blame.

I'm so sad. My blanket that I've had for 10 years has had it. I've actually had it stored in a chest for the last 5 years or so, at least since I lived with Amanda. I'd forgotten about it for the most part. I'd occasionally wonder happened to it, blaming its state of non-existence on He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named. He took everything else at the end of our tumultuous "relationship," why wouldn't he have taken that, too? And one day it occurred to me. It's in the chest I left at my neighbors. So about a month ago, I dug it out, washed it, and put it to use. Unfortunately, its time in storage did it no favors.

It's slowly disintegrating and leaving red fuzzies all over me and the bed. I slept under that blanket with my first cat Bonkers (named after Erica Cain's cat on All My Children) when I still lived at home. She was MY cat. She slept with me every night of my life from age 6 to 23, when I moved out. She'd snuggle in underneath it next to me, resting her head on the pillow by mine and go to sleep.

Bonkers circa 1987

I don't WANT to throw it away. It's kind of my last connection to those sorts of things. Although, there are just as many bad memories connected to the damn thing. But in this case, the good ones win out. I wanted a $900 Himalayan, and I got a spitting, hissing, growling runt in a shoebox who lived almost 20 years. She substituted just fine.

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November 27, 2005

Back to the grind

After 1.5 days of harrowing PC problems, I think it's finally fixed. Last night, I just wanted to put my foot in its ass.

I decided to try to give DAoC another try, and it took me more than a day to install and patch everything. After 3.5 hours, I'm level 7 -- an accomplishment that takes a mere 30 minutes or so in WoW. Despite the clunkiness, slow motion graphics, and painful grinding, I'm going to stick DAoC out for the one month I signed up. If I can get to level 25 in a month, I'll sign up for another month. But I just don't see it happening at this rate.

I really miss the folks in my guild, but DAoC just hurts. Unless they take me out and PL me big time, I'm probably going to give up. WoW is just too pretty, too comfortable, and too convenient to throw away easily.

Thanksgiving was fine as usual this year. I had my family's today and made off like a bandit with two big bowls of spätzle. Yum.

Tomorrow, it's back to work. I have a meeting with our subsidiary for some marketing materials I'm working on for them. My boss has ducked out of the meeting, and I'm still pretty clueless about health care/EMS marketing strategy/lingo. So it should prove interesting. I should also get my manuscript this week to edit, to be immediately followed by another one in January.

I'm not looking forward to minor toe surgery Thursday. I hate stitches. I've had them once before, and they were miserable. They make me understand why wild animals gnaw their own limbs off. But I've got to get it over with.

And now my dears, I believe it is off to bed with me to snuggle into my new flannel sheets.

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November 24, 2005

Afterglow

I'm feeling rather satisfied and spent after getting up at 5:15am to go D.A.T. shopping. We hit the mall first and got some really fantastic deals. Strangely, it wasn't nearly as busy as it has been in past years. But most stores have been running massive pre-Thanksgiving sales, and I think a lot of people took advantage of that.

After that, we hit Target, hoping to get a Nintendogs version of the DS (Kev will only play the Corgi, so it can only be the Labs version) and some DS games, but they were out of damn near everything. Anything that had a sale sign, even if it was only $.22 cheaper than normal, was obliterated...at 11am.

I had to let mom run into Dick's Sporting Goods back at the mall after we met up. Amanda and I tried to find a parking place, but soon realized that people were parking in the back of the theater lot across the road. I decided it was better to wedge my car next to some dumpsters and just sit and wait like a stalker for mom to come back out than park, literally, a half mile away for 20 minutes.

Then it was off to Kohl's where I got Kev a sweet Xmas gift that I have since hidden. I want at least one surprise this year. :P Kohl's had the best deals by far this year. I got some new cookware, a knife set, and a slew of new belts. The best way to shop in a store like Kohl's is to have one person stand in the 200+ person line while the rest of the group tag-team shops, occasionally dropping off a bag of items or throwing things into the cart the lineholder has. This proved efficient last year as I had five huge, stuffed bags I dragged along the floor to the register as mom ran around the store.

I also FINALLY got a new dresser. My previous dresser is older than I am, but it's in amazingly good condition. I've always been really anal about taking care of my things. I was raised that when you lost/broke something, you didn't get a new one. Tough shit. Money doesn't grow on trees. So I've always been careful to treat my belongings with respect. I have T-shirts I bought on my high school senior N.Y. trip 11 years ago that are still in near-pristine condition. And yes, I wear them quite regularly. I like my stuff. Nothing makes me angrier than when people disrespect my stuff, or when people are downright wasteful with their own stuff.

And yesterday, I found out that Dayton is ranked the 17th most dangerous city in the U.S. ...not per capita, out of the entire U.S. It's #5 or so for murder per capita. Fantastic.

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November 24, 2005

T-Day and counting

I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

I got up ass-early to get a newspaper at the grocery for coupons for tomorrow's shopping frenzy. I walked out the door to my car, and it was windy and chilly, but not cold. I figured I'd better stop at the gas station to get gas so I don't have to mess with it Sunday when I go to my family's T-day thing. I get out at the gas station, and go to put the nozzle in the tank, and a gust of wind almost sweeps me away Wizard of Oz style. It choked the air right of me, as it was unexpectedly freezing. I swear the temperature dropped 20 degrees in 4 seconds.

Twenty seconds later, white ice pellets are flying horizontal to the ground in a white wall. Two minutes after that, the ground was white. I decided screw the grocery, I'll get a paper here and just go the hell home. It let up briefly, but has been going strong most of the morning. I love Ohio weather. Four days ago, it was 55°F, yesterday we got 2 inches of snow. I swear it wasn't like this when I was growing up.

I decided to do some semi-annual super cleaning of the apartment. I've got a little bit left to go that I'll take care of later, but most everything is spic-and-span. I'm going to busy most of the weekend, so I figured I'd better get some in this morning.

In the process of cleaning, I discovered the smell of lemon turns Sunny into a psycho. I mopped the floor with lemon-sol (Kev's head explodes when I use Pine-sol), and after it dried, I released the cats from their imprisonment. Sunny walked out onto the floor, fell over, and began ramming her nose into the tile, occasionally lifting her head to pant in confusion. She rolled around on it for at least 30 minutes, sniffing and panting. It had the effect of catnip on her, she got really hyper, and really, REALLY mean. I don't give her catnip because I like my eyes in their sockets and my skin un-opened.

A friend of mine sat outside Circuit City for over 12 hours to get an Xbox 360. He had stopped Tuesday night to see if they were selling them at midnight, but the store only had 8 and decided they would just sell them first-come-first-serve in the morning. He saw a couple of other people obviously waiting in their cars, so he decided to just wait, too. At some point in the wee hours of the morning, he realized more cars were pulling into the parking lot, so he had to get out and go up to the door to wait to guarantee his place. He was totally unprepared, wearing only a t-shirt and a jacket in unpredictable Ohio weather. He said he was shivering so hard he thought he was going to set off the alarm on the doors he was huddled against.

But that madman got a 360. He's bringing it over today, so we can play it when we get back from Kev's parents'. Woot!

I'm revved up for shopping tomorrow. I think Amanda is going to be here at 5:45am. Let the frenzy begin!

I came across this on Fark. I love China.

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November 20, 2005

Things I learned at a yoga retreat...

1) I would cut off my left tit for a square of processed cheese under the right circumstances.

2) Blindfolds are to yoga practitioners what holes in sheets are to Orthodox Jews.

3) Flute music does not make a 6am wake-up call any more pleasant.

4) People who (in the name of meditation) bark like sea lions at 6:15am may very well be choked to death with a blindfold or beaten severely around the face and neck with a half-filled water bottle if I am not restrained.

5) Never leave home without your ear plugs.

6) Chickens run very, very fast and will invade your car, your room, and your personal belongings if they think there's something to peck in it.

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So I got back this morning from a weekend of yoga, meditation, and relaxation. Was it good? Yes. The yoga, meditation, and relaxation was great. I feel great, it was fun, and I'm glad to be home.

We did the evening session of yoga with no issues. Afterwards, we headed to the dining hall for dinner, which consisted of fish, fish-flavored Tempa, steamed rice, and peas. I hate fish. So, I had a feast of plain steamed rice and peas. This is where the intense desire for a square of processed cheese would come in.

Friday night it was freezing. I think it dipped down to 15°F that night. But the heat in our rooms was set somewhere around 9,000°F. And the toilet seats were so cold, I thought I'd have to scream for help in the middle of the night because my ass was frozen to one.

At breakfast Saturday, I nearly got down on my knees and wept when I saw the French toast and ham on the buffet line. I figured I'd better try to store some in a hump in case lunch blew as bad as dinner, so I stuffed myself thoroughly but comfortably.

The meditations have all kind of blended together at this point; I can't remember when we did which one. But I will tell you that putting on a blindfold gives people license to do whatever the hell they want in certain yoga meditations. Put on a blindfold, start some drumming, and you've got people performing West African dance rituals.

The gibberish meditation and laughing meditation are always fun. Blindfold people, and they'll go nuts. And I understand why. If you can't SEE someone making fun of you, you just don't care. And if everyone else is blindfolded, they won't see you to be able to make fun of you to begin with.

I always enjoy the laughing meditation because while it always starts out with some fake laughter, you're usually in tears with real laughter at the end of the 20 minutes. Some yogis say that if you can do the laughing meditation for 45 minutes, you will reach enlightenment. Unfortunately for me, 5 minutes of real, hard laughter is enough to cause an asthma-induced coughing fit. No enlightenment for me, I'm afraid.

Lunch Saturday was even worse than Friday's dinner. On Friday, I could at least eat two of the menu items. Saturday's lunch consisted of two types of pasta salad (neither of which was edible), coleslaw (gag), plain boiled spinach, and some sort of cream soup that looked deceivingly good but really wasn't. Lorie eyed me like a hungry convict and whispered, "Let's go get some real food." So we split, went into town, and ordered delicious brick-oven pizza. At that point, I'd have blown Jesus and his 12 homeboys for a McDonalds.

Dinner was better, thankfully. But breakfast today was pretty weak. Lorie and I split right after after it. I wanted to take a shower in my own private, clean bathroom and go to the grocery before hordes of old women converged for a Thanksgiving grocery frenzy.

I wanted to see Harry Potter this weekend, but I think it's going to have to wait till Tuesday. And Sunny is, predictably, pissed at me for leaving this weekend. Her aloofness contains 70 percent more aloof-ity than usual towards me. She hates it when either of us travel. And to show her disdain, she now sits comfortably in Kevin's lap purring and staring at me.

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November 18, 2005

Xmas wishes

Man's first invention.

This year, tell your man you want jowelry for Christmas.

This reminds me of the time Amy and I pissed off He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named and her ex by making faces at each other in the backseat of the car and laughing so hard we were crying. We wouldn't tell them what we were doing to make ourselves laugh, and they were so pissed they didn't speak to us for several hours. Typical behavior on their part.

Juvenile? Yes. Inane? Definitely. But we knew how to amuse each other, and that's all that mattered to two post-adolescent girls in love with men who were nothing but bad news. Miss ya, Spam.

I'm getting ready to head out to a 3-day yoga retreat. I'll be back on Sunday.

And here's an interesting article on the progress in Iraq.

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November 17, 2005

Eats, Craps, and Anime leaves

We endeavored to see Corpse Bride tonight. It was my 4th or 5th attempt at going to see it. We went to Longhorn for dinner, and the moment we were ready to leave, we felt a little funny. We decided to stop at the mall and check out some DS titles for Xmas, and immediately decided it was time to go home. So no Corpse Bride again. Maybe I'll finally make it to a 2nd run theater.

After much groaning and stomach rubbing, we settled onto the couch to watch Nausicaa. I'm a big Miyazaki fan; I think he's brilliant, and I love that his movies are generally family-friendly. I like movies with side characters so cute they make me shatter glass.

Even if cuteness is not on your agenda when watching anime, Miyazaki's work is brilliant and entertaining. I thank Kevin's ex every day for being a total jackass and leaving behind all of her Totoro stuffed animals and glassware she got in Japan. Mine now. Hah!

Anyway, we cuddled on the couch and then sat around lazily the rest of the night. Good enough.

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November 14, 2005

Just another day.

So last night was the Magical Night of Giving. There were some really great sales in the department stores, but a lot of the hoity-toity stores like Banana Republic and JCrew only offered a measly 10% off. Bah. I love their clothes, but I usually stick to their clearance racks. I did, however, get an awesome black velvet jacket and vest from NY & Co. that kicks ass.

Amanda and I had a good time. They had a dance company performing various numbers from The Nutcracker in one area. The girls were pretty talented; although, the two best were already too tall and too heavy to ever be accepted into a professional dance school, which is a load of crap in my opinion. One girl had a smile plastered across her face that gave away her sheer terror every moment she was in front of the crowd. And another one had no clue what was going on as she tried to watch the other dancers for her cue for every movement. It was entertaining.

Tonight I put up the Xmas decorations, turning our entertainment center into a festive one. I look forward to getting a house so we can put up our first Xmas tree because that won't be happening here. Yes, it's a little earlier than usual. But every year, I struggle to get everything up sometime during Thanksgiving weekend, and then 4 weeks later I have to tear it all down again. I want some time to enjoy it this year.

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November 12, 2005

Ganapatei Satchanananda

I was sick all night from a garlic overdose at gaming. Raw garlic in butter does not make my stomach happy. But I made myself get up this morning to go to a pastry shop open house where I sampled seven different gourmet desserts before settling on a chocolate mousse cake for the holiday party with the Friday-night homos. Despite feeling grievously ill about 20 minutes after sampling the desserts, it was worth it.

I laid on the couch all day feeling rather miserable, so I decided to catch up on some TIVO. I watched Vanity Fair, a somewhat bizarre period piece in which Reese Witherspoon attempts to hide her enormous pregnant belly throughout the film because she wasn't supposed to be pregnant in most of it. What timing.

Anyway, the first half of the movie was a fairly normal love story, but somewhere around the halfway point it just gets bizarre. Gabriel Byrne somehow feels he should be allowed to have sex with her for teaching her to dance or something, and her hot husband (Rome's Marc Antony) dumps her beotch ass for being such a dumb ho. Then, in the end, she's a casino dealer who helps her idiot friend realize she's...well...an idiot. And then Ms. Witherspoon runs off to India with the fat, old guy she almost married in the beginning of the film. I was left scratching my head as the credits rolled.

Then I watched some strange Irish film about a bunch of Irish guys in a small town trying to lure hot, fit, American women to come marry them. I managed to stay awake, mostly because of the accent, but in the end, I was thoroughly confused by the one guy nailing his friend's mom in the end and THAT being considered a happy ending. Again, scratching my head.

Then I moved on to Matchstick Men. I had it figured out in 25 minutes and therefore felt no need to continue watching it, saving myself 1.5 hours of Ridley Scott's fast cuts and Nic Cage's inability to portray an obsessive compulsive with any degree of believability.

And before heading out to Yoga Kirtan, I watched most of the 1994 classic "Mosquitoes." It starred a dumpy female lead, cry-baby supporting actors, and one retired, overweight pro-wrestler-looking guy with a 9-foot chainsaw. Enough said.

Kirtan was interesting. I've been to one before, so there were no surprises. Sometimes, it gets a little too hippy-feeling for me, but I chalk that up to my own anal retentiveness when it comes to being emotionally expressive in front of large groups of strangers.

And to top off a day of bizarre-ity, I ran into my high school principal in the parking lot of the bar across the street from the Yoga place after Kirtan. His wife seemed weirded out by me, but he did know who I was. I was one of the last years he was there as principal, and he liked me and my sister. I was a first-generation sub-culture, artsy-fartsy punk in a tiny school of good ol' boys; I would hope I would have some place in his mind.

I remember he took a group of us to a lecture series at Memorial Hall our senior year. The speaker was Robert Ressler, and the topic was serial-killer profiling. I think he was afraid me and the rest of Greenwich Village were going to start rioting at the theater, but he must have been sorely disappointed when it didn't happen.

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November 9, 2005

Mid-Ohio Clam

Amusing.

My b-i-l helped me get those music links working. They're down below and on the sidebar to the right under Music by Keith May.

Mid-Ohio Con is coming up, and I think this will be yet another year I skip it. I really have no desire to meet Margot Kidder or the guy that played "Dave McFly" in Back to the Future. There are no comic artists I'm particularly interested in meeting, either. Most of the guys I like don't come here often, at least not anymore. Stan Sakai, Brian Michael Bendis, Evan Dorkin, Jhonen Vasquez, David Lapham...I'd like to see more of them.

The first Mid-Ohio Con I went to was in 1998, I think. I met Brian Michael Bendis (pre-Powers), and Kev and I talked to him for about 45 minutes with no interruption. He was in a hallway off to the side, and no one really knew who he was. Flash forward two years, and his table was swamped with adoring fans. Flash forward five years, and he's too big to do Mid-Ohio Con. Bendis is an amazingly talented writer. Check out Jinx, AKA Goldfish, the Powers series, Torso, and Fire. That same year, we talked to Paul Jenkins (a man who has broken almost every bone in his body at one time or another playing sports) for almost an hour, again with no interruption. Both were very cool, laid back guys. It was one of the first and best experiences I had at a con.

And the next time you use Lysol, think about this.

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November 8, 2005

D&D2: Electric Boogaloo > Catwoman

We watched Dungeons & Dragons 2 tonight. it was far more entertaining, and even better put together, than Catwoman. When Sci-Fi can put out a better movie than you, a multi-million $$ studio, kill yourselves.

Thanks Spam.

While I'm technically the 2nd born of both my parents, I'm the third child collectively. Figure that riddle out. And the ideal jobs are about as far off as they could possibly be. Despite my punk days, I wanted to be a police officer early in college and considered applying to the academy. But HE-WHO-CANNOT-BE-NAMED shit on all of that, and I ended up with an A.S. in Business (almost another A.S. in Visual Arts) and a B.A in English, making a living in Marketing. Figure that one out, too, while you're at it.

I watched a special on river otters tonight. While they are the most adorable looking creatures ever, my experiences volunteering at the Cincy Zoo have taught me better. Otters are some of the nastiest, most vicious creatures on this earth. I would watch them wait outside the gate of their enclosure, trying to ambush and attack their keeper at feeding time. Once those sweet little jaws lock on, you're probably going to lose a good half-pound of flesh. But I'll admit they still make me squeal with glee, just like baby duckies.

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November 7, 2005

Oh the humanity...

Kev and I watched Catwoman tonight. It was almost as bad as Mission to Mars. Almost. I don't know that anything could ever top that legendary sucking chest wound of a movie, but Catwoman has come the closest so far. I was in physical pain about halfway through it. It became a contest of wills. Kev would hide in the bathroom to try to run down the clock, and I would pause it. If I'm going to suffer through it, we're both going to suffer through it.

As Brian wisely said during a paused moment, "If you can make it through Catwoman, the two of you can make it through anything." I'm beginning to think that's true. I mean, I knew this movie was going to be bad. But it surpassed my expectations a thousand-fold in badness. I just couldn't believe how awful it really was. My eyes are still bleeding.

Things I learned from Catwoman:

1) Never, ever let Halle Berry help design costumes. I could have dealt with the costume if it weren't for the f-ing pants. They were so unbelievably stupid, I actually felt angry.

2) Cats are slutty, bitchy, can walk upside down on walls, are tae kwon do masters, expert thieves, and like to dispense justice. At least, those are the super powers passed on to Halle through some cat breath. Slutty bitches, activate!

3) 30,000 fast cuts in a movie can induce epileptic seizures in people who don't have epilepsy. Or maybe I just fell asleep.

4) Fast cuts hide the fact that no one, including the actors, really knows what's going on. Got some leftover footage on the editing floor? Slap it together with some neon strobe lights, shaky-cam work, and some glue. Voila! Instant fight scene.

My mind is already settling a light haze over the traumatic experience, and this amazingly forgettable film is being erased from my memory as I type this. Tomorrow, it will all be a bad, bad dream.

I saw Jarhead last night, also. It was okay. I was excited to see Sam Mendes do another film, but it didn't live up to my expectations. Rent it.

And yes, I know my music links in the last post aren't working. I'm trying to get that fixed this week.

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November 6, 2005

Repression, sleep, and dignity

I'm totally wiped out. I got up at o-dark-thirty yesterday morning, to go to Gap Outlet in Kentucky with Amanda. This isn't your run-of-the-mill outlet where prices are slightly discounted. This is a salvage outlet that carries Banana Republic, Gap, and Old Navy. Sure you might have to sew a couple of seams, replace some buttons, or carefully try everything on to make sure it's not mis-sized. But it's sooo worth it. For about $100, I walked out with 5 pairs of men's pants, 1 pair of women's, and 7 tops. Some of it I'll dye or put funky patches on to cover holes, but that's the charm of customizing your clothes. I love a bargain.

I came home and crashed for an hour before getting ready to go to a wine tasting at a Keith's. I've never sat down and tried a variety of red wines; I've always kind of felt they all tasted the same -- shitty. I decided this time I'd dive into them with an open mind. I was delightfully surprised. I actually found a couple of red wines that didn't make me want to lick the floor to rid my tongue of the taste.

Keith ended the evening with a little music. If you ever have the chance to see him live, do it. You won't be disappointed. He'll be playing at Therapy Cafe on November 19, which I will unfortunately have to miss, as I will be on a three-day yoga retreat. But he has a tentative date at Leaf and Vine in December. Some of my favorites are... (might require the free Real Player)...

Last Supper (Live)

Fallen Waltz

Nice

If you like what you hear, you can buy his CDs here. As a graduation gift last year, he gave me a CD that contained covers of The Pixies - Wave of Mutilation and PJ Harvey - Down by the River, two of my all-time favorite bands. It was a very personal and amazing gift. Thanks man.

I'm pretty eclectic in my musical tastes. Right now, I have in my car NIN, Nawang Khechog, Madonna (The Immaculate Collection), 10,000 Maniacs Unplugged, Modest Mouse, Gwar, and Ibrahim Ferrer. I never know what kind of mood is going to hit me while driving, so I try to cover all my bases.

After getting extremely buzzed and giggly on wine, I sobered up to go out dancing with Amanda. We hit Fusion on the newly re-created industrial night on Saturdays. And Fusion has changed its name back to The Asylum. It came in as The Asylum, and it'll go out as The Asylum. They did get their liquor license extended, which is good to hear, so it may not close as soon as they had anticipated.

They moved the hip-hop crowd downstairs because it's been thinning out lately. About 30 seconds after I had exited the dance floor during one of Mike's sets, I see some guy bolting across it only to be engulfed by about 20 security guards. These guys came out of no where. They may as well have rappelled from the ceiling and jumped out of trash cans for all I could tell. I didn't even know that place HAD that many security guards. And right behind the security guards were about 20 pissed off guys coming after the runner.

For the first time ever at a club, I was a little freaked out. I've seen plenty of fights, vomiting, and domestic drama, but this was the first encounter I've had like that. I wouldn't have been surprised if shots had been fired; thank god Saturdays require pat downs by security on entry. But the music was great, as Mike (aka Hostile 17) is spinning upstairs on Saturdays, so I'll probably continue to go that night for the foreseeable future.

And now, I'm going to go take my second nap of the day before I hit the keyboard face first.

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November 3, 2005

Have no, thank, blow the skin

Star Wars Ep 3 in Chinese and back again (A Chuck-o-vision discovery)

There are too many movies coming out! I'm never going to get to see them all on the big screen, either. /grumble My TIVO is being overrun with things I need to watch, but somehow, the World Poker Tour seems to dominate the TV every night.

Yoga definitely hit the spot tonight. I skipped last week, and I really shouldn't have. Every time skip a week, I'm reminded why I shouldn't at the next one. There's a workshop I was going to go to, but I didn't realize Joe's wedding was in the afternoon. So I guess the weekend retreat will have to suffice till mid-winter.

We're testing out two new printer/copiers at work. The Canon 3220 is just as reliable as I knew it'd be. The Xerox DocuColor 250 has been nothing but trouble. I tried to run two jobs on it today. The first job ended in a paper jam that required a technician to come out. The second job ended in the damn thing refusing to let me refill the bypass tray. Even after I cancelled the job and re-sent it, it still refused to let me re-fill the tray. Screw it, I'll use the Canon.

So far, I'm thoroughly unimpressed with the unreliability and un-intuitiveness of the Xerox. It puts out a pretty page at a swift pace, but the hassle isn't worth it. When I have 350 prints to get to the printer to be cut before 5pm, and I have a machine down for 3 hours in the morning because of a paper jam (something that shouldn't require a service call to fix) and then stalled because it refuses to me finish my job, I'm not a happy person.

It also didn't help that when I called Xerox for help, I heard the phrase, "I don't know why it's doing that" at least 4 times before she realized that answer wasn't going to cut it. I didn't even call her back after talking to her the 2nd time after it just refused to let me finish my print job. I didn't have time to piss around with it anymore.

I think I'm going to go try to squeeze in one of my TIVO programs before crawling into bed.

October 2005 Archive

October 31, 2005

Happy F-ing Halloween

Today was truly a cursed day. Work went fine. I even got out at 4:30pm. I excitedly drove to the gym, gleefully musing how I'd be home early after my workout. About 4 feet into the gym, I realize I'm not carrying my keys. My heart sinking, I walk back out to my car, and there they are, lying on my front seat.

"Okay," I think, "I'll just go in and call AAA and work out while I wait for them to show up." No big deal. I make arrangements with the front desk to have them come get me when the AAA guy arrives. I get on my most favorite of cardio machines, the elliptical, and start running. Immediately, the TV on it stops working. I can't change the channel to Charmed or even turn it up to where I can hear it. Then, the screen starts to go on the fritz all together.

I sigh and step off the machine. It resets itself, and I try again. Same thing. Hell with it. I'll get on a treadmill. I go to step on the treadmill, and one of the lenses in my glasses falls out onto the floor. It took everything I had not to yell, "You gotta be f-ing kidding me." I sigh again, only much louder and more angrily, and I walk up front thinking someone might wear glasses and have a glasses screw set so I can fix it. Halfway to the front, the screw falls out. Having one lens, I was so handicapped at finding the microscopic piece of shit that I finally just gave up.

And of course, beautiful people don't wear glasses. They all get Lasik and have fake tans. So I tried to tape it together just to hold it till I can get get somewhere I can fix it. No dice. I finally accept that if this AAA guy doesn't get here soon, I'm going to have to call someone to come drive me home. I am BLIND without my glasses. I have prescription sunglasses, but the glorious DST started yesterday, so it's dark at 6pm. And on top of that, it's trick-or-treat night in every city surrounding Dayton. I didn't feel like trying to avoid small children dressed in black running willy-nilly across the streets while I'm wearing sunglasses at night.

So I decide to just go back to my original plan and work out till the AAA guy gets there. What the hell else do I have to do? I start jogging on the treadmill, watching some girl with Lasik and a fake tan get onto said demon-possessed elliptical and start using it with no problem. Again, I almost yell out a disturbing string of expletives never meant to be joined together.

The AAA guy shows up at 5:50pm. I take one look outside at the already-set sun and curse under my breath. I call Kevin. No answer. I call Mike next door and make him go over to our house and get Kevin. I tell Kevin the whole sordid affair, and he says he'll be here shortly with someone to drive me home. Great.

Thirty restless minutes later, I call again. Much to my dismay, he answers.

"You haven't left yet?"

"No, I'm waiting for Jason to come get me.

"What about Mike?"

"He doesn't have a car."

"What about your car?"

"Oh yeah. I didn't think about that."

/sigh.

So Jason brings him down to get me. Keep in mind that poor Kev has had bronchitis for the last 9 days, and he's just getting over the worst of it. Once I got home and showered, Brian ran me to the mall to get the screw replaced, so I could see without feeling like I had a tumor.

The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful, other than I didn't realize I'd lost my FTP uploading thingy when my hard drive was re-formatted this weekend and, therefore, had no way to upload my last 4 entries I had been saving. So once my b-i-l solved that dilemma, the rest of the night was cake...the whole 55 minutes I had left. A big thank you to all involved tonight in getting me home and getting my glasses fixed. You are much appreciated.

Happy F-ing Halloween.

10:45pm edit: And now...my comments are screwed up. Will this day never end? SmartFTP isn't so smart after all.

October 30, 2005

Meltdown

Nothing like a 3-day PC meltdown to keep me from posting. But no worries, I saved up the entries day by day and posted them accordingly. A big thanks to the guys for getting it back up and running. I ditched my little 10G drive for my 40G. We're going to wipe the 10G and run it in the bot PC to see if it was causing the problems or if it was just Windows corrupting. I might pick up another hard drive before the first of the year, so I can have a back up.

Anyway, Celebrity proved to be a little sad last night. Masque has definitely stolen their thunder. In years past, Celebrity was once THE place to be on Halloween night. It had the best shows, the best costume contest, and the best crowd. This year, it was a gnawed-on skeleton of a party. We left there around 11:30 and headed over to Masque, which is where everyone else in Dayton had decided to go. But although the crowd was at Masque, Celebrity had far better performers.

I've heard for months what a great club Masque is, how upscale it is, how nice, clean, and fancy it is. After seeing it for myself, give me back my dark, pseudo-clean 1470's that Masque displaced. I wasn't impressed with the decor or the staff's attitude. The only reason Masque had the crowd was because of its location. Masque is within walking distance of the Oregon District where Ohio's largest Halloween party takes place, and Celebrity is on the other side of the highway.

Masque had a little haunted house up on the third floor. A maze composed of black plastic, little lighting, and non-glow in the dark paint, it was difficult to even find your way in. We ended up following a guy dressed like one of the members of Burger King's CoqRoq.

Halfway through the thing, we were squirted in the face with pistols in a dark, plastic-y hallway, which served to do two things: made us unable to see through our glasses and prompted me to say very loudly, "They don't know what scary is until my make-up melts off from all this f-ing water." Just then a young kid had started to jump out and scare us, but all he could do was laugh. The scariest part of the whole thing was an empty toilet stall with a strobe light in it.

For those who remember 1470's, the scariest part of the place were the women's restrooms. The 2nd floor was bearable but full of psychotic, drugged-up, anti-depressant-eating Goth girls. And those toilets occasionally overflowed and were shut down. The 1st floor had no doors on the stalls and was generally inhabited by large, terrifying lesbians. You haven't lived until you've had to squat over a toilet in front of a group of pot-smoking lesbians who are watching you, trying to decide if they should kick your ass or offer you a toke.

The 2nd floor wasn't much better. The male security guards would frequently burst in doing a "drug sweep." Or you would come across some crazy Goth girl conducting feminine business outside the privacy of a stall for no good reason. Or both would happen at the same time, and you'd get to hear the ensuing screaming match of "Oh f--- that's gross" and "get the f--- out asshole!"

As the three of us stood in the empty toilet stall with a strobe light, we shared a touching moment of times gone by. There's been talk of renovating the 3rd floor into a Goth club, and despite my apathy towards the place, I'd probably go to it once Fusion shuts down if they did it. Speaking of Fusion, until it's eventual closure it's doing Goth/Industrial on Fridays AND Saturdays. Yawp!

October 28, 2005

We'll have a gay old time

Just in time for Halloween...

I would like to share my favorite Chick Tract with you. I think my favorite thing on the front page is the section titled: Seven simple steps for witnessing to cultists. It then lists Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, and Catholics. That’s right, Catholics. You know, only the oldest sect of Christianity that moron’s religion was based on until King Henry VIII wanted to screw another woman besides his wife.

My friends and I find Chick Tracts in the strangest places, including toilet stalls in men's restrooms. It's become some kind of weird sport among us. We inevitably find at least one at every gaming convention we go to because gaming IS the root of all the evil in this world. It's not corrupt politician, corporate greed, or any of those things Republicans don't want to stamp out, it's gaming. Your kid plays D&D? Send him to church and have him be Dick Cheney's intern. That'll straighten him out.

In defiant celebration of Halloween, I plan to hit some drag shows here and here Saturday night. The queens never disappoint on the biggest night of debauchery.

October 27, 2005

Sigh of relief...?

I don’t know about you, but I was relieved to hear about Harriet Miers’ withdrawal as a Supreme Court nominee. What I find hilarious is that up until she actually withdrew, liberals and conservatives were both voicing concern about her nomination. She didn’t have enough experience, her opinions on key matters were hazy at best, her appointment by Bush was blatant cronyism, etc., etc. And now, it’s being spun by the media that right-wing religious-nut conservatives (heretofore referred to as “Jesus Crispies”) have “crushed” her nomination, Miers wasn’t given a fair chance, blah blah blah.

Every article I have read since Bush’s nomination has bitched and moaned that Harriet Miers didn’t deserve to be on the Supreme Court. Okay, fine. She wised up and dropped out. Now, conservatives are being portrayed as frothing at the mouth with indignation of this “moderate” being appointed by Bush. How does anyone know she’s a moderate if we didn’t know anything about her to begin with?! I have followed this story from day one. We weren’t really any closer to knowing anything the day she withdrew than the day she was nominated.

Don’t get me wrong. I am in no way a conservative. But the spin on this is just downright hilarious. The media is suddenly acting like Harriet was the embodiment of liberal decisions, even though we were never told what decisions she has ever made. That’s what everyone had a problem with, no record of her decisions. Jesus Crispies scare me the most, but I’m right along with them in condemning the appointment of Harriet Miers. There just wasn’t enough information on her to make an informed decision.

I hope Bush does nominate a moderate, but this time I hope he nominates someone with some experience and an open record. I would like to see someone nominated in the mold of retiring Sandra Day O’Connor­, a swing voter. I have no problem with middle-of-the-road voting. All I ask is for someone who at least tries to represent all Americans and not just wealthy, white Christians. Which, if the Jesus Crispies in control of the House and Senate have their way, will not be the case. I doubt we’ll have to wait long for the second announcement.

October 26, 2005

Excuse me, you dropped your whistle.

I saw North Country the other night with a friend. It was interesting to see a representation of the story that brought about sexual harassment protection for women. The real story revolved around Lois Jenson, who endured daily harassment and terror for 9 years at the EVTAC Mine in northern Minnesota. The movie, as most do, doesn’t do a very good job of showing passage of time and makes the whole thing seem to happen in 3 weeks, rather than 9 years. The court case dragged out for another 12 years after that.

While women are mostly protected in the workplace from harassment, it still exists. I think things still have a long way to go and not just in salary equality. For one, women don’t want to be classified as a whistleblower. No one wants to be the “woman who cried sexual harassment.” I don’t put up with a lot, but at a previous job, I bit my tongue for two years to things that were going on. It wasn’t until it spread from me to some younger interns that I decided to go to management. I mean, what do you do when your own boss goes on and on about what great guys the people are that harass you. It doesn’t make you feel like you can say, “No, they’re giant pieces of bastard.” It makes you feel like you have no one to go to, like no one is going to believe you.

A lot of my experiences have been from men who pretend to be Mr. Wholesome-American-as-White-Bread on the outside. They target the women they think won’t say anything. Why didn’t I say something for two years? I had watched a co-worker go through the process of claiming sexual harassment, and while the situation was corrected, opportunities were taken away from her on the job. The entire sales force was male, and it was a huge part of my job to work with them. I didn’t feel like I had a choice if I didn’t want to be held back. And my favorite part of my co-worker’s experience is when the HR manager at the out-of-state main office basically told her that people think certain things because she’s a blonde, and she’d better get used to it.

When I did finally say something, I didn’t want vengeance. I wanted it to stop, and I wanted the other women to be shielded from it. Twenty-year-old interns should not have their first corporate experience be in that type of environment. And of course, none of the men involved spoke to me after I blew the whistle. Wah. I’m heartbroken.

October 24, 2005

A round of suckassitude for all

I saw Doom yesterday. Wow, was that crap. I felt very un-engaged, disinterested, and even a little sleepy. The only cool part was the thing getting stuck in a nano-wall and the plasma gun. Beyond that, save yourself the $$ and wait for it to play on Spike TV, if, that is, they can stop running Van Damme movies and CSI reruns long enough to show something else.

It was actually snowing today. It was just the odd giant snowflake mixed with rain, but COME ON. It's not even Halloween yet. But I have to admit that when I was driving home from the gym tonight, I secretly enjoyed it. The energy that late fall brings is sharp and clear. The cold makes you curl up a little closer to your mate, and the wind and rain rattling the windows make you feel that much warmer as you sit wrapped in large, wooly blankets. I'll enjoy the cold until mid-January at which point I will promptly order it to go away, with little success.

Today, I picked up the annual weather-stripping and plastic window coverings to seal up our ancient doors and windows. I can't wait to have a place that you can't see space between the window and the frame.

I made the annual pumpkin bread yesterday. I tried the 50/50 sugar/Splenda mix instead of straight sugar to cut back on some of the calories. While it tastes right, the texture is very...crumbly. I know cooking is heavily based in chemistry, and I'm thinking that for the other batches I plan to make, I'll just go with full sugar. Texture is as important as taste in some things. I remember some guy on Food Network saying he discovered 101 ways NOT to make a poundcake with Splenda, but that he was sure there WAS a way to make it work. Well, I don't have that kind of kitchen ingenuity, time, or interest, so I'll stick to mom's recipe. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

And I just had an incredibly weird sense of déjà vu writing that last paragraph, except it was me telling my mom about it in a dream. Weird. If I ever did manage have a psychic dream, it would be about something ridiculously mundane like my sister passing the salt to the left at the Thanksgiving table. I couldn't be lucky enough to stop plane crashes and assassinations. No, I'd have a futuristic vision about table etiquette.

I'm almost done with my second round of editing, ahead of schedule. And now, I'm going to go put on wooly socks and a sweater and go curl up with some very crumbly pumpkin bread and something warm to drink.

October 22, 2005

Another dreary Saturday afternoon.

I saw some pretty decent trailers today. I'm looking forward to seeing Walk the Line, Brokeback Mountain, Jarhead, Syriana, Underworld: Evolution, Kiss-Kiss Bang-Bang. I'll go see Grandma's Boy if I have nothing else to do, but I love the shiny-white teeth guy (Peter Dante) that's in that film. He cracks me up for no reason at all.

Out of all of them, I'm most interested in Syriana and Walk the Line. I like Ang Lee films, generally speaking, so Brokeback Mountain will probably be pretty good. And Kiss-Kiss Bang-Bang stars Robert Downey Jr. who, in my opinion, is one of the most under-rated actors working. If he could just stay off the nose candy, he'd have a hell of a lot more work. I love almost every film he's ever been in. Hopefully, this film will jumpstart his career like Ally McBeal started to but he won't blow it all up his nose this time.

I'm still on the fence with Zathura. It's just Jumanji in space, but the effects look pretty cool. And of course, I'm frothing at the mouth for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I still haven't seen Corpse Bride, and I want to see Zorro next weekend. I'm probably going to see North Country on Tuesday with a girlfriend. Too many movies and not enough time. I can't wait for MirrorMask to come out on DVD, as it will never play in theaters in this podunk town. Neil Gaiman is the shizzat.

I was disappointed to hear from a friend that Fusion will be shutting down within the next 6 months. The only decent goth/industrial club south of Cleveland, and the cops hate the owner. Hopefully, someone will pick up the crowd on a Fri/Sat. The $$$ is there if someone gives us a place to go. We've bounced around since 1470's closed last year and will probably continue to do so. /sigh I guess I better start going out and enjoying it while it lasts. And said friend didn't tell me Cruxshadows was playing there last night. GRRRRRRR.

I should have been editing today. I'm ahead of schedule, but I could have took a hefty chunk of out it if I had buckled down. I'm enjoying my first weekend in a long time of doing absolutely nothing. I finally don't feel exhausted and spread too thin. One more day, and I should be recovered. Hoo-rah.

October 21, 2005

Little. Yellow. Dead.

Kev went off to play Gamma World (*grumble*) tonight. They tried to run a two-nighter when I had all the wedding stuff going on, so I didn't have a character. It bled over into a 3rd night and still isn't done. Which is what usually happens when you try to set a time limit on a game because it's hard to predict what your players are going to do. But I at least get to play it once next Friday when one of the guys is out of town. I <3>

Brian and I decided to rent a couple flicks to entertain ourselves. We watched Layer Cake and The Machinist. I've been wanting to see both since reading about them on IGN Filmforce last year. Layer Cake was so-so. I definitely didn't like it as much as Snatch or Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels -- the genre it claimed to be a part of. But it was watchable. Daniel Craig is no Jason Statham. It was also interesting to see the next James Bond in a starring role and see if he has the chops to replace my beloved Pierce Brosnan. I'm going to remain neutral until I actually see Casino Royale, but I'm still sad I don't get to see Brosnan oozing sex as Bond just one more time.

The Machinist was really good. The more I think about it and analyze it, the more brilliant I think it is. I felt like there was a little open-ness to interpretation, which I really enjoy in a film. Different personalities walk away with different things.

Its' hard to believe that this guy:

...is the same person below.

A lot of stars have undergone physical transformation for dramatic effect in movie roles, most notably Matt Damon in Courage Under Fire (#9 on the list) who ultimately suffered serious long-term health problems because of it and almost didn't land his role in Saving Private Ryan.

Anyway, Bale's emaciated frame struck a chord in me. I have gone through periods of chronic insomnia, and the way he looked was the way I felt during those times...hollow, empty, dead. You go through each day in a fog, going through the motions of real life, and all the while you wonder if any of it's real, if you're hallucinating yet. I went through a period of 6 months where I averaged 4 hours of sleep a night. I was carrying almost double the amount of credit hours it takes to be considered a full-time student, planned a wedding, and got married. Melatonin helped bring it under control that time, but a year later it happened again. I slept maybe an hour a night for almost 4 weeks. It was a living nightmare. You hit a point where you just don't want to live anymore. Only intensive stress counseling and medication brought it under control that time. And now, I'm an avid yoga practitioner. It's truly transformative.

Anyway, I'm supposed to go see Doom on Sunday, and I'm sure it's going to be a giant bucket of suckassitude. But hey, what isn't anymore?

October 19, 2005

Seven-time Widow

With the release of Tony Hawk's American Wasteland, I'm a Tony-Hawk-widow for the 7th time in as many years. I might as well just write down whatever news or conversations I might think of and save them till the game has lost its verve.

For the next month, I'll hear nothing but the grind of a virtual skateboard coming from the front room and the whoops and hollers of our friends as they watch him shoot the hoo-ha or whatever it is skateboarders do. Hurrah.

Recipe:

Oven-Fried Potato Wedges

These taste like those delicious deep-fried tater wedges you get at KFC and the like.

1 1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon sugar

1 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon ground mustard

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

3 medium baking potatoes (8-10oz ea.)

Cooking spray

A) Heat oven to 425º. Mix salt, sugar, paprika, mustard, and garlic powder.

B) Gently scrub potatoes, but do not peel. Cut each potato lengthwise into 4 wedges. Place wedges skin-side down in an un-greased or non-stick pan.

C) Spray potatoes with cooking spray until lightly coated. Sprinkle with salt mixture.

D) Bake uncovered 25 - 30 minutes or until wedges are tender when pierced with a fork.

1 serving = 105 Calories (Calories from Fat 0)

October 18, 2005

David Hasselhoff Saves the World

This guy loves Dave and in the all-time greatest video ever made: Hooked on a Feeling. My favorite part is where he has a giant salmon in his mouth and flies through the air. All those drugs you did in the 80's still hasn't prepared you for it.

October 17, 2005

The Great Conversion

I went and had dinner with my brother's family one last time before they head to Florida tomorrow. It was really hard saying goodbye. It was like a piece of me just kind of cracked off and fell to the pavement. I hope things come together over the next year, and I can see them before another two years fly by.

Wedding pics

In my fatigue yesterday, I forgot to mention the Great Conversion attempt at my sister's reception. Someone I went to Catholic junior high with was trying his hardest to get me to come back to the church. His tales of seeing St. Peter's bones in Vatican City and his experiences that have proven to him that Jesus is God just didn't cut it for me.

I couldn't make him understand that I don't deny the existence of Jesus or his apostles; I just don't buy that he's the son of God. He was declared the son of God by the Council of Nicea in 325 AD. And because the books of the bible were physically written by men's hands, I can't buy the whole "inspired by God" spiel. And because of THAT, I can't believe the writers who said Jesus declared himself the son of God. For all anyone knows, someone in 200 AD translated all the gospels for the 10,000th time and decided that Jesus didn't mean that we are all children of God, just him. Which in turn caused the three hundred bishops of the council to look at each other and say, "Well shit, Bob. He said it himself. Just sign the damn creed."

Then we got into the whole "all gods are one god," which is more along the lines of what I believe. Most of the Catholics I have known in my life tend to be more open-minded about this philosophy, which is why I still have respect for them. But then I think that if they believe that way, why are they trying to get me to go back to worshipping Jesus? I think God speaks to different cultures and people in different ways. I think Hinduism and Buddhism are the closest to getting it right, personally.

And I certainly can't agree with the evangelical approach that says babies that die before baptism go to hell. I just can't believe in a God that kills babies and sends them to hell. It's ridiculous. Even the Catholic priests I have known believe that God has mercy on the truly ignorant. And what about tribes of the rainforest? I cannot believe that God expects some tribesman in the Amazon rainforest to let a white devil walk into his camp, say something in a tongue he has no comprehension of, and then he'll burn in hell because he didn't convert to this "God" character. Christian missionaries have done more harm than good in a lot of places, bringing foreign diseases and destroying cultures that had been surviving just fine before they arrived. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

To claim to know what God really wants with us is pompous in my opinion. All we have are some scribblings that have been translated and revised and edited and altered for a couple thousand years. What's the truth? The truth is, no one knows. Not one single person on this Earth knows for certain if God exists, cares, or had anything more to do with us than some Celestial seventh grade science experiment.

But anyway, while this guy was certainly not unpleasant to look at, I didn't get a whole lot in conversation-wise. He was in shock that I haven't gone to mass in 12 years. He told me I should go to confession because it's so liberating. So is seeing a therapist or keeping a journal, pal. He was going on about this old priest at his church that can get you in and out of the confession booth in under a minute and how great that is. Personally, I don't need a drive-through confession from a jaded old man who doles out a few Hail Mary's to make up for having pre-marital sex.

Would you like special sauce with that?

At one point, my husband leaned over and said to my cousin Mike, "I can't tell if she's trapped." And my cousin replied, "Yeah, it's pretty funny isn't it." Two minutes later, my grandma elbows my husband and says, "I think Kara's trapped." lol So my hubby played the good spouse and came to give me an out in the conversation. I politely declined but knew I could use the "My husband is probably looking for me" excuse when I WAS ready to give it up and eventually did.

October 16, 2005

Father Dick's sweet & sour delight

The wedding is over, and I'm completely exhausted. Friday, I worked a half day and headed up to help decorate the reception hall. My sister showed up towards the end to make sure everything was okay; she had been decorating for the rehearsal dinner at the church. Watching her cracked me up because it was like watching myself. We both obsess over little things when we get particularly stressed, things like "Do you think this candelabra should be moved .03 inches to the left? It just doesn't look exactly centered."

Then it was off to the rehearsal at the church. Bridesmaids were told to mosey and not sprint down the aisle (although, wearing shoes whose design was deciphered from torture devices described in a 900-year-old Chinese manuscript made moseying the only viable option of movement). The catered food at the rehearsal dinner was from a small town local place called The Spot. I remember eating at The Spot in town when I was a little kid. Most of the chain has closed due to the economic condition of the region its in, but their catering business has thrived. It's easy to see why when you taste the food.

Saturday, I arrived at my hairdresser's uneventfully. Five minutes later, a hysterical, crying woman ran in screaming for help. She had been mugged in the parking lot by a purse snatcher. If instead of being early for once I had just been on time, I could have beat this guy's ass. I had walked right past where he'd been lying in wait for a woman he knew he could take. Obviously, he was smart enough not to try to purse snatch from a woman 5 inches taller and at least 50 lbs heavier. I was pissed. All these years, I've waited for a moment to put my self-defense and martial arts training to use, and I was 5 minutes early. He had no weapon; he just out-powered the poor girl and drug her down the parking lot as she fought with him to get back her purse. Oh well.

After that, it was off to my sister's to start getting ready. It's amazing how time flies when you're just not prepared. During this whole thing, starting around Tuesday, I just felt like I wasn't prepared for anything. No could ever describe me as traditional, so all the traditional things about weddings, parties, or whatever are completely foreign to me. Throwing a party? Make sure you send hand-written invites, ask for RSVPs, send a follow-up invitation reminder, send personalized, hand-written thank you's, and jump up and down on one hand while whistling In a Godda Divida backwards. It all just seems like a lot of unnecessary work and completely bizarre.

Shortly before the wedding, as we were all waiting for the whole thing to get started, mention of my level-three snow-storm wedding was made for the 400th time. (We hadn't had a snowy winter in 3 years and what were the chances we'd have one on THAT day. /sigh) Anyway, the priest looks at me and says, "Well, you weren't married in the Episcopal Church." No jackass, I wasn't. And I'm sorry to inform you that God doesn't give a flying fat woman's ass about what the weather is like on anyone's wedding day, Episcopal or not. And people wonder why I reject official organized religions.

And then, during the ceremony the priest makes a blatant jab at my sister about the wedding programs. Basically, he said that the "special" wedding programs that "so much hard work had gone into" weren't used. You know, the ones that looked like a scat fetishist had crapped out during a seizure. The sermon he had planned to give was in it, which said, in a nutshell, to re-read their wedding vows every so often, something he could have just said during the sermon and given them some damn printouts for. Instead, he had to be a dick. Again, people wonder why I reject official organized religions. So after the wedding is over, and we're driving to the reception hall, my sister is VERY upset. Like I would be in her situation, she couldn't stop thinking about it. In a way, he made sure to shit on her parade. Nice.

At the reception, she didn't wait around for Father Dick to show up and give the blessing before dinner; she did it herself. He showed up, wandered around, stared at my chest for the 46th time in two days, and finally slithered out the door, unnoticed. My toast opened with a joke that only four people in the room would get, me, my sister, my cousin Ryan, and my brother. I heard Ryan laugh from the back of the hall. It was worth it. The food and cake were divine; except for the diarrhea everyone who ate the gravy got. Thankfully, I chose the cheesy potatoes over mashed potatoes and gravy.

Today, I went and had dinner with my parents and brother's family. We carved some pumpkins, one of which was a Cyclops. We ate leftovers, which I took home to Mike and Brian next door.

October 13, 2005

Homecoming

I drove up to see my brother at my parents tonight. It's been too long. I haven't seen him since my wedding over two years ago. I actually felt a little choked up when I first saw him and hugged him. I really hope I can get things going financially, so we can start going to Florida and see them at least every other year. My niece and nephew are growing like weeds.

Watching my niece is like watching an echo of myself in a lot of ways. I watched her do this pseudo-tap-dance across the tiles on the kitchen floor, trying to hit only the large squares in the 1970's brown and orange retro-vomit pattern. I remember doing that almost every time I went across that kitchen floor as a kid.

I'm working a half day tomorrow to help my sister decorate for her wedding. I had my nails done for the third time in my life today, and they look fantastic. It's almost a shame I'll scrub off the polish on Sunday...almost. I'm still debating on another spray tan session Friday after work. But I'm afraid of looking like a carrot wrapped in a bloody sheet if I go again. One bout gave me just enough color so I don't look like this.

October 12, 2005

Tuvoc's never coming home

I had an AMA meeting today. It was actually pretty interesting. I'm going to ask my boss if I can become a member so I can start going to the meetings more regularly. I find marketing a double-edged sword. On one hand, I love the creativity...I'm a graphic designer/writer by trade...but on the other hand, I really can't stand dishonesty. And a LOT of companies have dishonest practices when it comes to promoting their products. My current employer is straight up. It's difficult to be dishonest about health care. Either it's good or it's not, and if it's not, you're not in business very long.'

My sister's wedding looms ahead on Saturday. I'm not ready! I found out last night my brother is coming in town tonight and not tomorrow, throwing a wrench into my carefully planned week. After work, I went and spray-tanned. I want to at least LOOK like I leave the house during daylight hours from time to time. Then I had to run get some panty hose because I don't own any of the evil things, paper for my sister's wedding programs, and my free Victoria's Secret panty. Hoo-rah. I finished up her program tonight. I'll have Brian print it tomorrow. Then saddle-stapling will be the order of the day until I have all 200 done.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to get an appointment with crazy cocaine-pinky-nail aesthetician guy. He's the only manicurist I've ever met that simultaneously sounds like Liberace and Isaac Hayes. It's my third manicure ever. The first one was from this same guy for my 10-year reunion last November, and the 2nd was from some white-trash princess who BUTCHERED me the day before Gencon. I ended up taking it all off and re-doing it myself. And I hardly ever wear nail polish because it makes my nails fall off after about a week, so it was a real bang-up DIY job.

Whether or not the manicure happens, I'm heading north to see my brother at my parents' for dinner. I only get to see him every few years because I'm a po' biatch, so I'm going to spend as much time as I can with him and his family while they're here over the next week.

I'm jonesing to go out and dance, but it's not going to happen this Friday. I haven't gone out in a couple months. Every once in a while, I have to get away from the scene...just take a break for a while. Sure, goths leave you alone, it's the main reason I go to a goth club, but they're a bunch of ridiculous, over-dramatic children. I have to just walk away sometimes.

October 11, 2005

Never taint-punch a roo

My scheming to have a relaxing evening at home for the first time in three weeks fell through tonight. My sister's wedding program that she paid her church $50 to do turned out looking like a pile of ass...five days before the wedding. Not only were there misspellings, mis-aligned words floating in some sort of free-form acid flashback (the priest IS a hippy, so who knows), and somewhat important words not capitalized, but it also looked like it had been run off on one of those purple duplicator machines. You know what I'm talking about...the pages you used to sniff as kid when they were fresh off the press.

Anyway, so I got that done and hammered out a bunch of editing changes that I won't have time for at any other point until after the wedding. I didn't get finished until about 11pm. I then decided it was time to mud mask. I deserved it.

I'm going to go slither into bed and force myself to watch some King Tut National Geographic special that I've SWORN I would get to on TIVO. He died from a broken leg. How about that?

October 9, 2005

Suck it, dolphin.

I went to see the Egypt exhibition with Cory today at the art institute. It was pretty cool. I was a big Egypt-o-phile in my former days, and it was neat to see some things I hadn't seen before. Before going in, I checked all the signs in the lobby that said "No Flash Photography." Cool. I can take pics. About halfway through the exhibit, after taking like 20 pictures, a security guard comes running over and tells me I can't take pictures. I asked why there were absolutely NO SIGNS whatsoever inside or outside the exhibit. In fact, I got the audio tour device with my camera in my hand, and I turned in my entry ticket with my camera in my hand. What the hell did they think I was going to do with it? Suck on it to appease an oral fixation?

So out of defiance, I took one last picture in the tomb room, which was very, very dark. I waited for most of the people in it to clear out, made sure there were no security cameras, turned on the camera in my pocket, popped the lens out of my coat pocket just enough, and took a picture. And hilariously, I forgot to turn off the flash. So here Cory and I are, looking at the tomb walls in this near-black room while nonchalantly listening to the audio tour and this HUGE flash of light comes out of my pocket. We started cracking up and made a run back into the exhibit. Just my luck. lol

Afterwards, Kev joined us for dinner at Flying Tiger. It's probably the best Chinese restaurant in the area. We've been going there for years. They used to do a fantastic New Year's dinner, and they'd make tons of authentic Chinese cuisine not normally on the menu. Alas, it became too much work for the few people that would make reservations, and they stopped doing it. I was going to make turkey & noodles and mashed potatoes tonight, but laziness won out. Maybe I'll make it Tuesday.

I spent the rest of the day trying to catch up on my TIVO'd programs. I've been neglecting WoW lately, but I feel like I just have too much to do right now.

The shit I find on Google. lol And by a man named Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn, no less. /sigh

October 8, 2005

Hippies, Chambord, and Wool, oh my!

I saw 40 Year Old Virgin last night. Much to my pleasant surprise, it was hilarious. It's the funniest thing I've seen since Team America. There aren't a lot of good comedies anymore. I like Wil Ferrell, depending on what he's in. I liked Elf because it was refreshing to see a family comedy that didn't suck Santa's balls.

This morning, I went to the street fair in Yellow Springs. I had to break out the winter coat as it was only about 48 degrees this morning. And honestly, I kind of liked it. The festival was the usual hippy extravaganza, but the food was, as always, fantastic, and the mood is inevitably light. It always amazes me that people come from out of state to go to this thing. I guess there aren't a lot of hippy towns left in America. I couldn't find my beloved lemon-strawberry shakeup though. I guess it was just too cold for the wusses.

For lunch, I met up with Amanda and went to Pickety Place. While I'm really not into country decor, this place serves up an AMAZING lunch. The menu changes every month, and right now they're featuring a caramel apple cider and chocolate Chambord cake that's suicide-worthy. And since the pre-holiday sales have begun, we hit the clearance section in all our favorite stores at the mall after lunch. I hate buying anything I'm not getting a "deal" on.

I finally found some fuzzy wool to make new cuffs for my winter coat. One curse of being a giant is that normal things, like coats, rarely fit in the arms. So I often have to add cuffs on to the coats I get. I've gotten pretty good at it over the years, so it looks as though it was manufactured that way. But it's still annoying.

We continued with Kev's WFRP campaign tonight. After two sessions and one fight, I've already almost got my first Insanity. Hurrah.

October 7, 2005

A little anticipation never hurt anyone

80° yesterday and 59° today. Ya gotta love Ohio weather. All summer, all I could think was how much I dreaded the inevitable onslaught of winter. But as fall approaches, I find myself feeling excited about it. I love snuggling up on the couch in my pajamas, wrapped in a blanket and covered in heat-seeking cats.

Fall means pumpkin bread and falling leaves and handing out candy to little kids trick-or-treating. And then there's the pre-Christmas shopping. I may not be girly in a lot of ways, but holiday shopping is one of my major vices, especially on the day after Thanksgiving. Every year, usually around January 1, I start thinking about day-after-Thanksgiving shopping. By September, I'm almost in a frenzy over it, and that state lasts until it actually happens. Call me mad, but the deals are just unbelievable, and if you get up ass-crack early and get out of the mall by 10am, it's really not THAT bad. Last year, I marathon shopped from 6am to 6pm and then went to a holiday party. I felt heady and spent and victorious. Amen.

October 5, 2005

10 things...

A friend of mine sent this to me, and I thought it was far more interesting than the usual lame questions spammed in my Inbox.

Ten Things I Have Done That You Likely Haven't

1. Went seining in a creek and explored the woods on a weekly basis as a kid and thought it was what all kids did in their free time.

2. Had David Carradine tell my husband I'm a "man-sized woman" and that he's always wanted one of those.

3. Grew up in a 138-year-old farmhouse built by distant relatives.

4. Attended seven funerals in the last 6 years.

5. Hung myself upside down by my pants on a barb wire fence, on accident.

6. Watched Phantom of the Opera on Broadway with the original London cast, 2nd row, center. We were so close, the flashpots dried out our contact lenses every time they went off.

7. Fed stingrays dead fish. They hover over your hand and suck them up like a vacuum.

8. Helped brand and vaccinate cattle on a yearly basis as a child and only got tossed over a 6-foot fence once by a crazy one. Yes, tossed over a 6-foot fence.

9. Been involved in a fatal car accident.

10. Frequently rode a horse full-blast across a hay field, feeling the free-est any human being could ever possibly feel, while simultaneously praying to God not to hit a gopher hole and die.

October 3, 2005

Shoes I can't afford

Current addiction: Trouser socks and Børn shoes.

I haven’t had to wear any semblance of dress clothes for the last 3 years, so going to business casual has been a bit of a change. I’ve been beefing up my wardrobe for the last couple months in anticipation of my inevitable job change. And honestly, I have to say I like it. I like getting just a little dressed up every day. I like wearing more than jeans and a t-shirt.

And I especially like that no one at my new job makes a big god damn deal about me NOT wearing jeans and a t-shirt. The first year at my old employer, I had to dress up during the week, except for Fridays, but that fell through when I was sequestered in the accounting dungeon for 3 months. When they finally had a front desk to put me back at, I got a lecture about appropriate dress. When the HELL did I not dress appropriately the first time I was at the front desk?

Later, after I was FINALLY moved into a cube, I was able to slum it like the rest of the company. And from there on out, any time I wore a skirt, I was greeted with, “OH MY GOD. KARA IS WEARING A SKIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111one” As if I hadn’t worn skirts for at least a year of my time there. It got old. Not being an attention whore, I decided it was easier to just not wear them. So I’m pretty excited about being able to wear skirts if I damn well please at this place.

October 1, 2005

Poppin' in the Blue Lagoon

What is with bad haircuts on men lately? It’s like some Blue Lagoon flashback, only combined with upturned collars, which I’m told is called “popping.” Other than bad 80s re-runs, where do people get this crap? On the same page with the upturned collars, I noticed this. "Hey guys! Let's pop our collars and then strip!" How does that happen? Do they finally drink enough that the Chi Beta Code of Homophobia is forgotten?

I watched The Grudge this weekend. Lame. I’m not a big horror genre fan to begin with, but there really wasn’t much to it. I think it might have lost something in the American translation, regardless of it being directed by Takashi Shimizu. I remember watching Ringu and being really creeped out by it. During the US production of The Ring, several of my fellow audience members fell sleep in the theater. And this is coming from the person who was so freaked out by Signs, that she didn’t sleep for three days.