Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Even though this steaming pile of crap will make a mint....

With a 20% enjoyment rating on, I thought I'd share some of the amusing reviews Transformers 2 has garnered so far:

Fan Reviews:

Bad storytelling is bad storytelling, no matter how many explosions, robots and hot chicks you have on screen.

One fan compared it to one of the all-time bombs, the George Lucas-produced "Howard the Duck." Another fan called it "the worst movie I've ever seen." Another praised Bay "for his excessive use of the 360 spinning crane cam" and the frequent slow motion shots of Megan Fox fleeing with jiggling boobs.

Revenge of the Fallen almost feels like it's signaling an end-game for blockbuster movies: all sensation, no content, catastrophic expense.

If you ever wondered what a movie would look like geared toward the underdeveloped brain of a gestating zygote...then Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the insipid illustration you've been waiting for.

Bay seems to think that just showing us a bunch of brightly clashing metallic limbs (accompanied by lots of noise) is enough to make us faint in our seats with excitement.

This re-run of the previous thrills and spills displays a disappointing lack of ambition.

Eric Childress, "The single worst film to be released thus far in the summer of 2009."

Peter Bradshaw, The (UK) Guardian: "Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan."

Manohla Dargis, The New York Times: "Cretinous."

Steven Whitty, The Newark (New Jersey) Star-Ledger: "Can you thwart a migraine for two-and-a-half hours?"

Washington Post: What's wrong here is that there's so much swirling, relentless action, indistinct robot characterizations and over-caffeinated techies loose on the special-effects machines that the movie, in mere seconds, achieves incoherence.

Village Voice: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a bewildering, noisy, sloppy, cynical piece of work, a movie that sneers at the audience for 147 minutes and expects us to lap it up as entertainment -- and be grateful.

Journal & Courier: The movie is formulaic and routine, which suits (Michael) Bay's directorial style. Creativity is anathema to this by-the-numbers cinematic traffic cop.


Eric B. Shanks said...

These reviews are having a reverse effect on me and I'm kind of itching to see this movie now. I hope you're happy now.