July 2008 Archive

July 31, 2008
I see hot people.
I watched Rory O'Shea Was Here tonight. I've been gleefully catching James McAvoy's earlier movies on HBO. He's quite possibly the only actor who could make a quadriplegic hot.

And I swear he had some sort of weird prosthetic nose thing going on in Starter for 10 because in Rory (which precedes Starter) his nose is much less humped and hooked. Very weird. At first I thought maybe he just had a nose job, but then I saw Starter was after Rory. Weird.

posted by Karabou at 11:15 PM EST


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July 25, 2008
Pardon me, Hand Banana
I am EXPLODING with excitement.

My boss just approved me to go to NYC for a writing/editing seminar Sept 25-26! Woohoo!

I just booked the trip, and here's the hilarious part: I'll be staying at the Edison Hotel on Times Square. lol It'll be like our high school drama trip all over again.

I'm also super excited because I'll get to see Angi and spend the weekend with her. Now, to figure out what I want to do while I'm there! I think the Guggenheim is a MUST. And I'm considering Spamalot. Hmmmmm...

posted by Karabou at 7:40 PM EST


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July 24, 2008
My vote is going to... Okay, so after a conversation Tanya and I just had, I had an epiphany.

Jesse Ventura must be our next president.

There's the bad-ass Ventura for the hard-line conservatives:
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e152/amazon284/jesse-ventura2-2.jpg

And the softer side for the liberals:
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e152/amazon284/jesse-ventura1-1.jpg
It all makes perfect sense now.

posted by Karabou at 7:40 PM EST


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July 22, 2008
Pardon me, Hand Banana
Friday, I was so sore after PT that I just decided to go home and do nothing. Yoga was a bit too much for me last week, me thinks. If I go this week, I'll have to do less of the poses and just be content with the rest of the class.

Saturday, I cleaned the house like a maniac, frequently resting in between chores. I took a delicious hour-long nap in the afternoon, and then I picked up Amanda and made the trek north to help my mom with her waffle booth's late shift. It was insane. We had people 10 deep at one point, with numerous people ordering the waffles by the dozen. Here's a pic of what a sugar waffle looks like http://www.karabou.net/Pics/Waffle.jpg

A big thank you to Amanda for helping me out, keeping the money running smoothly, and managing what was, basically, utter chaos. She didn't try one of the waffles until she got home, and she said that was probably a good thing because they were insanely delicious. I suspect next year, she'll be getting more than a bag of six. Heh

Sunday, I was so whipped, I just laid around and didn't do much. I did manage to run to the grocery, but that was pretty much it. I altered some of my shirts that have been needing it, and one of Kev's. I need to get some backing for the curtains I'm planning to make for my bedroom, but that would require me having the time to run to the fabric store, which likely won't be until this weekend. Que sera, sera….

We had Mike and Leah over for dinner last night, which is always nice. We're trying to make it a monthly thing. I hate losing touch with friends, and I'm trying to make more of an effort all around.

Tonight is dinner at Buckhorn Tavern with the family for all our birthdays. On some level, I'm so thankful we didn't have a dinner for every single person this year. I've been so over-scheduled and busy that I don't know how I'd have done it. Ugh.

posted by Karabou at 7:03 PM EST


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July 15, 2008
This is a diary of hate...
I watched The End of the Affair with Ralph Fiennes and Julianne Moore the other night. I really enjoyed it. Lust, love, jealousy, misunderstandings, loss…it's packed with it. Events previously viewed through Ralph's eyes become visible through Julianne's with surprisingly little redundancy. I highly recommend it if you enjoy dramas like Atonement. It was moving and unique. I rate it 3 tissues.

Kev and I watched A&E's Andromeda Strain Sunday evening--all four hours of it. The first 3.5 hours were really good, riveting even. But the last 30 minutes were just dumb and turned into a Sci-Fi Original. I was also confused that they bleeped out all the swear words. I thought this was made for TV? Maybe I'm mistaken.

Last night, I watch Evening. I'm mildly in love with voyeuristic glimpses into lives and affairs based in the 1930s-40s. So this movie was great. Basically, a dying elderly woman is remembering bits of her life, specifically her first love. I rate it 4 tissues.

posted by Karabou at 9:09 PM EST


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July 14, 2008
Radio blah blah
Friday, I went with Tanya and her boys to see Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D. It was big fun. It was worth it in 3D, but I wouldn't have wanted to see it otherwise. I felt like a big kid during parts of it. 3D has certainly come a long way.

Saturday, I hit the gym in the morning and went to the grocery, so I could make filled noodles for gaming that night. They were a hit. Our German friend said, "I feel like I'm home." Tee hee

Sunday, I kept trying to get stuff done and it just wasn't happening. Kev's dad was there, and they changed the hoses on the hot water heater. I did eventually get the front porch power-sprayed down. It looks so clean. I need to get the railings and porch re-painted at some point, yet.

I started sanding my trunk, but I got the top done and felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything, so I abandoned it to wash the porch instead. I'll have to keep chiseling away at it. I can't get my room cleaned and organize until I have it in there for storage.

Kev and his dad did manage to get my blinds hung, thank god. I'm part vampire when it comes to sleeping. I can have zero light in my room when I sleep. As soon as the sun starts to rise at 5:30am, I start waking up and getting angry, trying to throw blankets over my head to go back to sleep. The blinds are woooonderful. Now I just need to get to the fabric store to get some new material and backing for new curtains.

In the afternoon, Tanya and I went over to Spam's for a cookout. It was nice to see you girl. I can't wait till you're off in August. We need to spend some time together.

This morning, we did a three-hour photo shoot at work. It was gorgeous outside, but standing for three hours was rough on me. I did a lot better than I thought, but I've still got some work to do in PT. I'm getting there, by cracky.

posted by Karabou at 9:09 PM EST


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July 12, 2008
Radio blah blah
Why is it that the people who call in to talk radio shows are either far right wing nuts or far left wing nuts?

I listened to some whack job caller claim Jesse Jackson choked her at a Black Panther rally in some tiny, unknown town in Iowa or Idaho--I don't remember which--in the 1960s. I suppose it's possible, but the more the radio host questioned her, the more her story fell apart and confused even her. She even started contradicting what she said 5 minutes earlier. The radio host was like, "Ooookay, let's screen those calls a little better."

And then there are all the young 20-somethings that call in to support Obama, but they can't name one thing he's done or stuck to when asked on air. Not one. And they get pissed and yell at the radio host in a tantrum, telling the radio host he doesn't know what he's talking about. Classy.

If you can't manage intelligent, rational discussion, avoid putting yourself in a position where you're actually expected to defend your views, not just state them without substance.

And that's pretty much par for the course on any radio show I listen to. I like it when they get the occasional person with half a brain from either side to give intelligent discourse, but that hardly ever happens.

posted by Karabou at 9:09 PM EST


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July 11, 2008
"M" is for old man
McCain, McCain, McCain.

How do I feel about you? You're super old and kinda crotchety, but I giggle when you say things like "nation of whiners." You've grown up in a different generation, and I'm concerned you have no ability to relate to mine.

But really, I'm unconvinced your "straight talk" is anything more than an excuse to use rude dismissive phrases to verbally abuse people and issues. I'm all for cutting straight to the point and telling it like it is, but your total lack of eloquence won't do us any good in foreign affairs. It bothers me the rest of the world thinks we're a bunch of rude, self-absorbed douche bags, and I don't think you'll do anything to dispel that notion.

I respect that you've seen war and that you were a POW. But what are you going to do about THIS war? I don't WANT to be there for 100 years! Is the surge REALLY working the way so many people say it is? What's your plan, other than "stay until it's fixed." What are you going to do to "fix" it? How are you going to enable and empower the Iraqi government to take this operation over?

By the way, your stance on net neutrality bothers me. I want my intarweb to stay just as it is. Free markets are peachy and all, but I don't think we need "to move to a different model for thinking about the FCC." Why do we need the morality squad sticking their nose into the internet? If I want to watch donkey porn, then dammit, I should be allowed to watch it.

No Child Left Behind? It doesn't work. It's ridiculously bad. As someone who knows multiple school teachers and hears how horrendously broken the system is, you better be ready to overhaul Bushtard's pathetic attempt to hold teachers accountable for students' grades. Teachers no longer have time to teach anything but what's in the test booklet. But take my sister's class for example. She teaches in the poorest district in the city, and her kids are so low she can barely get them to learn, much less pass. How is it her fault the majority of her students have ADD, ADHD, and other severe behavioral disorders related to drugs and alcohol. The parents are totally UN-involved, if even present in the kids' lives. The schools don't get enough funding to handle special needs students, and we're facing a shortage of teachers. What are you going to do to make it better?

I hear that voting for you is basically voting for four more years of Bush policies. And quite frankly, that scares the living hell out of me. I fear you're nothing more than a panderer, pandering to the extreme right of the United States, an ideological group that has run this country into the ground with its extremist and irrational views. I have always avoided voting for the GOP because of their long-standing association with the religious reich. Who are they to dictate how this country should be run? Or how I should live my life?

And your views about abortion? You used to be semi-liberal in that area, but once you sniffed the possibility of the GOP nomination, you switched to, "I'd nominate supreme court justices who would overturn Roe vs. Wade." It makes me sick to my stomach.

So you, too, have flip-flopped my good sir. You have even been known to send out contradictory messages about your support for the President's retard antics so that you appear to be simultaneously for and against his atrocities. So which is it? Are you for or against them? Take your balls out of your hot wife's purse and make a decision; then, call me and let me know what is because I'm tired of trying to figure it out.

Hmmm…free market solutions to global warming? I'm excited you admit you think it's real, but I'm just not seeing how that solution is supposed to work. I do believe it's a problem. But getting off oil is the biggest thing we need to do combat that issue. So what are you going to do about it?

If you get to sit in that oval office chair, is the first thing you yell going to be, "Bring in those drilling contracts! I want oil flowing out of every orifice this country has!" Because I really don't want that. Have lunch with T. Boone Pickens and discuss something new, something revolutionary for our country. I'm unconvinced you're any different than Bush, who lives in the pockets of big oil.

Convince me differently, Mr. McCain, if you want a prayer of a chance of getting my vote.

posted by Karabou at 9:36 PM EST


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July 10, 2008
Get ready for your "O" face
Obama, I don't like the idea of paying massive taxes to put Socialized Health Care into effect. If you have some genius plan of funding it without strapping the middle class, you let me know about it, k?

Also, I know people are rah-rah-rallying around you, chanting "Obama for Change!" But really, what have you done? What the hell does "Community Organizer" even mean? And what relevance does it have to being the leader of the world's largest free nation?

Dude, you change your mind every other day about major issues you've already stated opposite opinions on in the past. What gives? I know your job is hard, and Sweet Baby Jesus knows I DON'T WANT IT. But really, sometimes, you gotta stick to your guns. If you voted on something that became unpopular, suck it up, rub some dirt on it, and just tell people why you voted that way. Don't flip-flop every time a CNN reader opinion poll is published.

I agree that consistency is the mind-killer, and changing your opinions isn't necessarily a bad thing. If never considering and contemplating opposing opinions were the ideal, we'd still have slavery, women would still be barefoot and pregnant and have no rights, and gays would still be getting shock therapy to treat their "mental illness." Ideas evolve and opinions NEED to change, but not every other day. Really.

I like that you're opposed to big oil. But what are you going to do about it? Where are you plans? I don't want every square inch of America's last vestiges of beauty ass-raped for oil. There HAVE to be alternatives. Call up oil tycoon T. Boone Pickens, and have lunch for chrisakes. Give us more than just hope that we won't HAVE to be dependent on oil until it runs out.

Man, I also have some issues with you pulling out of Iraq as soon as you get into power. Yes, I agree we never should have went there in the first place. But the fact is, we're there. We haven't just dipped our toes into the pool, we've grabbed it by the hips on the beach and had our way with it till it's bled in front of a crowd of on-looking countries. We've reluctantly made our bed, now we have to lie in it.
Although, if Iraq's government feels it's ready for us to leave, then by all means, let's talk about leaving. But as long as they need us, we need to act like responsible adults and finish what we started, not take our missile launchers and go home, leaving a power vacuum for extremists to fill. I truly believe the only thing that kept Al-Qaida out of Iraq was Saddam. He was so bat-shit crazy that even terrorists were freaked out by his shit. He may have been the pinnacle of evil in our generation, but he served a purpose in the bigger picture. Don't get me wrong; I'm glad he choked to death, kicking his little feet in the throes of death. He deserved far worse.

I want my coworkers and friends and even strangers to make it home safely from Iraq, but everyone I know that's been there truly believes they're making a difference. I know there are many that don't, and I respect their feelings, but they've been through things more traumatic than most of us can ever imagine. Who wouldn't feel that way in that position?

And Obama, you voted for wire-tapping yesterday. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I really don't think the government is interested in hearing me talk on the phone about how I really want to buy a pair of Born sandals, so I don't feel particularly threatened in a personal way by this bill. I can see its merits, but I'm certainly not blind to its potential for abuse. So what do you do? Freedom does come with a price. What are we willing to pay for it?

The Obama-ites like Wil Wheaton are devastated by your choice in supporting this bill. But frankly, I'm astounded by such naïve idealism in a 30-something man. Who, but the young and somewhat stupid, REALLY believes you are going to stick to your campaign promises? Sure, they can hope. But what politician hasn't worked to further his own career over fulfilling the hopes and dreams of his/her constituents once he's in such a position? "People won't re-elect him!" you say. Bush was re-elected for a 2nd term. And that's all I have to say about that.

Furthermore, I firmly believe that while you're touting yourself as a moderate, once your ass cheeks touch the oval office chair, you'll be a leftist socialist until you leave office kicking and screaming. I'm not a socialist. I want a smaller government sticking less of their fingers into my paychecks and my life. I don't want wealth redistribution. I didn't bust my ass to put myself through school for a four-year degree to pay for some lazy fucker that doesn't want to work. "Boo-hoo! I don't know what I want to do with my life. So rather than work, I'll just sit at home and collect government benefits and pout about how poor me can't make a decision!" I've known people like this. They sicken me.

And sweetie, while I know you're not a closet Muslim, lots of simple folk who believe in ridiculous conspiracy theories do. And there are plenty of crazy nutwads in the world who would try to assassinate a world leader, but there are even MORE crazy RACIST nutwads who would try to assassinate a world leader. So you better pick a hell of a running mate and drive around in the Pope Mobile, because there are stupid, crazy asshats out there who don't have anything better to do than live and preach hatred against people any other color than pasty.

So Obama, you haven't impressed me. I may have voted for you in the primary, but that was only because I didn't want the Psycho Ex-Girlfriend of the Democratic Party in power. Because, even though I have my doubts about you, she scares the living shit out of me. And the Clintons, while clever, are criminals. They've gotten away with a whole lotta shizzat. There was a time when I could have been described as a twenty-something Clintonista, but now, I can see through their bag of tricks. On some level I amusedly respect their ability to deflect allegations and convictions like a pork chop on teflon coating, but deep down, I have serious reservations about them being in the White House again. Bill's approval of Gen. Barry McCaffrey as drug czar being one of them.

So in closing, you haven't got my vote Obama. Not yet. Maybe not at all. You haven't convinced me you're capable of the most important job in our nation. And while the 17-year-old anarchist in me thinks it would HI-larious to elect someone totally clueless, I know that really wouldn't be in the American public's best interests.

posted by Karabou at 11:42 PM EST


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July 8, 2008
I call Ocular BS
What an exciting day. This morning, I had what I think was an ocular migraine. All of a sudden, it was like I had stared at the sun with my left eye. There was this spot where I just couldn't see anything. My first thought was, "Oh christ, I developed diabetes in the last 10 minutes, and I'm now going blind." lol

I started to wonder if it was an ocular migraine, as my friend Lorie got them when we were roomies, and my boss has gotten them before. I tried to Google it, but I couldn't read anything on the screen. lol I went into my boss's office, starting to panic, and she said it sounded like one and just to close my eyes and try to relax and calm down.

It got worse and worse, to the point where I had to cover my eyes tightly and just put my forehead on my desk. It evolved from some missing pixels into a blazing, swirling ring of horror-diamonds all around the edge of my vision in my left eye, even when I closed my eyes.

And then as quickly as it came on, it faded away. Then I developed a dull, awful headache that, strangely, went away every time I got up and walked around the office. As soon as I sat back down, it came back. It felt like my brain had been replaced with a solid lead version of my brain, and it lasted for a good 2 hours. I'm sure it was mild by the standards of people who have REAL migraines, but I don't get headaches. So the slightest hint of one leaves me in misery.

This wasn't fun. I hope it doesn't become a regular occurrence. I can't figure out why I'd suddenly start having them. No new meds, I'm less stressed than I usually am, I've been able to relieve stress and get some moderate exercise with PT, and I've actually been sleeping through the night for the last 2 weeks (unheard of).

WTF. I'm going to the doctor in the morning just to be on the safe side, but from what everyone has told me, this is par for the course for one of these.

posted by Karabou at 10:21 PM EST


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July 7, 2008
they said you were the freaky kid
It was a nice weekend. Friday, Brian brought his grill over and we grilled chicken breasts, pork chops, beer brats, and cheddarwursts…ALL WRAPPED IN GLORIOUS BACON. Yum. Then we had a Freaks & Geeks marathon. It was very low-key and not terribly exciting. I left to go see Hancock at like 5:30pm, which is the subject of the previous blog post.

Saturday, I walked around the mall with Kev for an hour to get him some shoes and clothes, and then we stopped at Lowes to pick up a new toilet seat. When I got home, I had to lay down and sleep for an hour.

I'm not sure how it works, but I worked out hard Sunday for an hour at the gym and felt good, not tired at all. So how is it that I saunter around a mall for an hour, and I'm so dead exhausted I have to go back to bed for an hour. But if I go to the gym and work out 10x harder than that, I feel fine? It's frustrating. I swear.

Yesterday, I lazed around and did very little after going to the gym. I did finish off the last of Freaks & Geeks, which depresses me. That show was so incredible. I can't understand how it didn't make it. I guess I'll just have to savor my 18 amazing episodes.

This week is over-scheduled again. UGH. I hate feeling like I don't have a minute to myself. PT three nights this week, Thursday/Friday I have doctor appts, and Wednesday night is my mom's jewelry party.

I am, however, looking forward to seeing Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D Friday night with Tanya and her boys. 3D has come a long way, baby. I saw the trailer for it when I did trailer checks on Hannah Montana in 3D, and it looked so awesome I squealed with glee. I can't wait. If nothing else, I'll get to see Brendan Fraser in 3D, and that will be enough. Yum.

posted by Karabou at 10:01 PM EST


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July 4, 2008
Clancy Brown and the Hancock LeBouef
Wednesday, Tanya and I spent all glorious afternoon at the pool. It was amazing outside. Afterwards, Kev and I had dinner with his parents. On the way home, My right foot started to itch, horribly. I had to take my shoe and sock off, and when I put some moisturizer on it, it started burning so bad I about lost my mind.

Evidently, I somehow failed to put adequate SPF on the tops of my feet and my knees. They were utterly roasted. I haven't been burned this bad in ten years. In desperation, I started googling sunburn remedies and came across dozens of people swearing by cider vinegar. I usually keep a gallon of it on hand, as I use it to wash out the cats' water bowl and run it through the washing machine to clean out any build-up from time to time.

First I bought some Solarcaine and used that while I was at work, but as soon as I got home, I doused my legs and feet with vinegar in the bathtub. It was a miracle. It instantly took the sting out, reduced the heat coming off, and reduced the redness. I rinsed, dried off, sprayed down with Solarcaine again, and I was good as new...well, close to it. When the Solarcaine dried, I started rubbing in Vitamin A & E cream, which helps tone down the itch. I'm repeating the routine twice a day, and so far, it's been amazing.

I'd never heard of vinegar for a sunburn before, but WOW does it work. I was afraid it would burn or something, being acidic, but it actually soothed it. Apparently, it's an old trick lifeguards used to use before the days of SPF. They'd come home and soak in a tub of vinegar. It's unbelievable how well it works.

I have to walk around smelling somewhat like a pickle, but it's worth it. I'm not going anywhere important this weekend anyway.
I was working on making this strawberry/Cool Whip dessert I saw on TV when I realized I forgot to buy Oreos. We had just went to the grocery, and I didn't feel like driving all the way back. So I chanced it at the Circle K down the street. What convenience store doesn't carry Oreos? Although I probably spent twice as much on them as I would have a single full package, it was convenient. The clerk looked like a brunette Clancy Brown, early 40s, right down to the little gap between his front teeth. He kept asking me if I was making dirt cake and telling me how much he loves Allrecipes.com. It was kind of weird.

I saw some trailers today:

Day the Earth Stood Still: It's amazing, but Keanu Reeves has managed to make it look boring. Okay, so maybe it's not amazing. I can only hope he's supposed to be the robot.

Eagle Eye: Shia-Lebouef-driven movie that doesn't look terribly promising.

Quantum of Solace: I'm super excited about it. It's going to rock!

And finally, I saw Hancock. No spoilers. But I really have no idea why this movie got panned by the critics. I enjoyed it, and had I paid for an evening ticket, I wouldn't have been disappointed. Check it out for yourselves; don't let the critics make up your mind about it

posted by Karabou at 10:43 PM EST


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July 3, 2008
Pickled Sunburn
Wednesday, Tanya and I spent all glorious afternoon at the pool. It was amazing outside. Afterwards, Kev and I had dinner with his parents. On the way home, My right foot started to itch, horribly. I had to take my shoe and sock off, and when I put some moisturizer on it, it started burning so bad I about lost my mind.

Evidently, I somehow failed to put adequate SPF on the tops of my feet and my knees. They were utterly roasted. I haven't been burned this bad in ten years. In desperation, I started googling sunburn remedies and came across dozens of people swearing by cider vinegar. I usually keep a gallon of it on hand, as I use it to wash out the cats' water bowl and run it through the washing machine to clean out any build-up from time to time.

First I bought some Solarcaine and used that while I was at work, but as soon as I got home, I doused my legs and feet with vinegar in the bathtub. It was a miracle. It instantly took the sting out, reduced the heat coming off, and reduced the redness. I rinsed, dried off, sprayed down with Solarcaine again, and I was good as new...well, close to it. When the Solarcaine dried, I started rubbing in Vitamin A & E cream, which helps tone down the itch. I'm repeating the routine twice a day, and so far, it's been amazing.

I'd never heard of vinegar for a sunburn before, but WOW does it work. I was afraid it would burn or something, being acidic, but it actually soothed it. Apparently, it's an old trick lifeguards used to use before the days of SPF. They'd come home and soak in a tub of vinegar. It's unbelievable how well it works.

I have to walk around smelling somewhat like a pickle, but it's worth it. I'm not going anywhere this weekend anyway.

posted by Karabou at 11:53 PM EST


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July 1, 2008
If you break my heart one more time, it’ll be the last heart you ever break I find it sad and shocking the trouble some of my old friends have gotten into since high school. One of them OD'd on heroin. Another fled to the west coast after being charged with drug possession for pot. "Boris" is in a Texas prison after getting caught dealing crack cocaine…and I believe it was his third strike. The list goes on, if I really felt like going into it.

But one of them really, truly breaks my heart to see how he ended up. We were really good friends, totally platonic. It was one of those rare opposite sex friendships that was truly just friendship. I stayed at his house frequently, usually with other friends. I hung out there several nights every week; I remember watching Beavis and Butthead and Ren & Stimpy for the first time at his house.

I went to one of his family reunions and stayed the night. We slept in the back of a pick-up truck on an old mattress, just joking around and laughing all night. It was an odd relationship between us. The likes of which I will likely not experience again, and it breaks my heart to see what a piece of crap he grew into. He wasn't like that when were teens, not in the least. He was a good guy. He cared. And then it just seemed to suddenly fall apart. I don't claim to understand it, but I know it was at least partially fueled by his burgeoning alcohol and drug use. His home life wasn't awesome, but I knew kids worse off who didn't commit the types of acts he has in adulthood.

I know "bad" kids that have turned their lives around and are now pretty successful. And conversely, I know "good" kids that turned out to be pretty awful. Guess the old cliché is true: Never judge a book by its cover.

posted by Karabou at 7:28 PM EST


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June 2008 Archive

June 30, 2008
I guess I must be dumb cuz u had a pocket full of horses
Friday, we headed to Columbus to have dinner with some friends in town for Origins. It's always nice to catch up with them. We'll get to see them again in 6 weeks at Gencon. But Gencon is always so much busier that there's just no time for dinner and hanging out with them. They're busy folks.

I couldn't go to Origins Saturday because I'm just not up to that much walking yet. Disappointing. Instead, I cleaned the house and then did trailer checks, staying to watch Wanted. It was okay. It reminded me of the over-the-top action of Hudson Hawk, so while it was on the silly/fantasy side of action, I still really enjoyed it. I'd like to see James McAvoy in a "real" action movie, one that's a bit more serious. I think he could pull it off. Especially if he runs around shirtless beat to hell throughout it. Yum.

Sunday, I went to the grocery and then came home and planted almost all of the rest of my flowers. I have six plants left that I just didn't have it in me to finish…and a bush I didn't know what to do with. Maybe I'll try to stick him around the other side of the house or something. Then I put my pavers back along my back retaining wall. Some asshole kids keep taking them off, throwing them around my yard, and stacking them up to climb into the tree in the back yard.

By the time I finished, I was utterly exhausted. I still need to spray all the crap growing out of my retaining wall with Round-Up. I think there are two more mulberry bushes back there, which I have to put the kibosh on asap.

I got my insurance statement from my first few sessions of PT, and it's saying my co-pay is $35/session. The PT place told me it was only $20/session. So I'll be cutting back on the amount of sessions per week if that's the case. I can't afford $105/week. It's asinine.

I've actually slept the last three nights quite well, for the first time since my surgery in April. It's nice. I know it won't last forever, but I'm trying to enjoy it while it does. I think exhausting myself has been helping a lot. I'm going to the gym after work since I've been cleared to use an elliptical and an exercise bike on low, slow settings. And I've been cleared to use some leg weight machines on low weights.

I want to try to get my stamina built back up before Gencon. Four days of walking around for 6-8 hours will kill me if I don't. I'm planning to take a GameBoy or a book or something, so if I need to rest, I can entertain myself. I suppose this means I need to be exercising every day. And while I won't be burning many calories at such light exercise, I'm hoping it will get me to Gencon and back without me feeling like I've been hit by a truck.

posted by Karabou at 9:21 PM EST


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June 25, 2008
Electric World Life
F**k. Seriously.
We had my grandma's birthday today, and it was nice to see my cousins. It's been far too long. What wasn't awesome was that it took me an hour and forty-five minutes to get there. 75N was shut down. 70W was shut down. 675 where it turns into 571 was shut down. So I ended up backtracking through Medway and following a line of cars that I hoped knew where they were going.
I almost started banging my head on the steering wheel when I saw a cop directing traffic in the middle of nowhere because everyone was trying to get around the only three highways in the area. Then it started raining torrentially, AGAIN, while the sun was shining, which in turn made the road steam like crazy. I almost turned around and went home twice, I was so pissed. But I got there, and survived, and made it home in 45 minutes. /sigh
I've been getting estimates on having my trees trimmed. And no, that's not a euphemism. I have one for $1000, one for $500, and one for $550. I think I'm going to go with the cheaper version and not have the canopies completely trimmed and re-shaped. I'm more concerned about the branches laying on our roof that could cause enough damage to make us need a new roof, which would be a hell of a lot more than $1000. That, and our tree in the back is drooping down on the neighbor's garage, and kids keep stacking my decorative pavers to climb up into it. I'm not fond of having a precious snowflake fall out of it and getting sued by the idiot's parents. I suppose I should put up "GTF off my lawn" signs to cover my ass.
My sister gave me more flowers. I have to make time this weekend to finish up the side bed. I was sad when one of my Asian Lilies cracked in half, but she reassured me that if I keep watering the root, it will come back next year.
PT hurt like hell today. I had one of the guys for the first time. The exercises are fine, but the soft-tissue work (still not a euphemism) is living hell. He was like, "Oh, are you tender there?" JABJABJABJABJABJABJAB RUBRUBRUBRUBRUB "That hurts? You should be working it harder at home." JABJABJABJABJABJAB RUBRUBRUBRUBRUB And then he laughed when I started trying to crawl over the back of the chair in pain, trying to escape. God it sucks.
And then when I changed into my work clothes, I had something all over my shirt. On my boobs. Excellent. Because I REALLY need to draw more attention there. So I hid at my desk as best I could all day. On the upside, Kev was able to finally coordinate getting dad's planes to the IT guys he works with who acted like giddy school girls when they found out about them. They're huge into model planes, especially ones that really fly, so I hope they enjoy the shit out of them.
I'm tired and amazingly cranky. I think I just want to go to bed.
posted by Karabou at 9:57 PM EST


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June 24, 2008
Indy 4 Spoilers Ahead
I saw Indiana Jones tonight. The more I think about it, the more I dislike it. At first, I thought, "It wasn't bad," and shrugged. But really, aliens? Aliens, Mr. Lucas? What were you thinking? Shia LeWhatshisname wasn't bad. I was surprised he didn't annoy the hell out of me. I even feel that if they gave him a spin-off, I'd give it a chance. But I won't hold my breath for quality after Transformers.
I didn't feel that there was nearly as much high adventure as the other three. And while I didn't think they needed to jump a lava pit in a mining car, I felt like I only got a taste with the motorcycle chase. I'm bored with 80s punch-outs. Watching two old men punch each other in the face might be hilarious if you're watching Bum Fights, but it wasn't in this movie. Harrison is looking old, for sure, which makes me FEEL old. I feel like it was yesterday I saw Indy 3 in the theater.
I also knew there was going to be an Ark joke in the warehouse, as soon as I saw all the boxes. I dunno. I went in with low expectations and wasn't proved wrong.

posted by Karabou at 10:53 PM EST


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June 22, 2008
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
Dear god, what a whirlwind weekend...at least for my current stamina level.

Friday night, I took Tanya out for her birthday. We hit Abuelos and then saw Love Guru. Not awesome, but certainly better than crap like Epic Movie and other such tripe. I don't look for Mike Meyers to be making much after this one.

Saturday, my m-i-l came down, and we hauled the old toilet and bathroom sink/vanity to ReStore, the Habitat for Humanity charity similar to Goodwill (but for household items). Some guy bought them before we could even get them unloaded off the van. That made me happy, since I knew someone was going to use them. And Kev's mom took the light fixture and medicine cabinet. I just wanted it to be of use to someone. Mission accomplished, and I have a tax write-off.

Then we went to Lowes, so I could get some sealing paint for the leaky wall in the basement. That's a project for sometime this week. I also picked up some little tomato stakes to get my Asian Lilies upright, rather than laying flat on the ground. But I snapped one of them right off when I put it upright. /sniff My sister says it will grow back if I leave the bulb and just keep watering it. And I got some liquid sander and spraypaint, so I can work on the chairs when I get around to it.

I was overly ambitious and thought I was going to make it to Flower Factory and JoAnn Fabrics, but I was utterly whipped by the time we got done at Lowes. I grudgingly admitted that I couldn't go on, and we gave up for the day. I was so exhausted that I was on the verge of nodding off for the rest of the day. And my arms were actually aching just from dragging the sink and toilet out of the garage to scrub them down. ACHING.

God this is going to be a slow recovery. I thought I was doing pretty good, and I suppose I am. But the last 6 months have taken more of a toll on me than I expected. My physical therapist warned it would be 6 months before I was 100%. She said I could expect to feel a little better every day, but I won't be firing on all cylinders for quite a while.

Today, I did trailer checks, and Kev was leaving for the airport for his back-patting, group-hug trip to Jersey. Then I went to Mom's for my cousin Mike's sort of wedding reception. He was hands-down the happiest I've seen him in nearly a decade. BLAMMO! He was hit by the MAC truck of love out of the blue. I'm so happy for him.

I stopped at Tanya's for a bit, and when I got home, Kev was here. ...

Apparently, Jersey was under siege by some nasty storms, and his flight was cancelled. Now he has to get up at 4:30am to catch a 6:45am flight, go straight to the company meeting (he'll be late for it), then go out to dinner, and THEN he can go check into his hotel. Christ, that's going to be grueling. I don't think I could do it. And did I mention everyone else refuses to drive once they get there? Awesome.

His shitty trip just got 1000x shittier. ugh.

posted by Karabou at 9:44 PM EST


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June 18, 2008
ANWR and off-shore oil drilling: Yet another Bush fallacy
The gist: In 10 years, doing both might shave off 8 cents a gallon. Maybe.
On Wednesday morning President George W. Bush urged Congress to overturn a 26-year ban on offshore oil drilling in the U.S., and open a part of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) for petroleum exploration. Flanked by the secretaries of Energy and the Interior, Bush also proposed streamlining the construction process for new oil refineries, and explained that these moves would "take pressure off gas prices over time by expanding the amount of American-made oil and gasoline." Coming a day after Republican presumptive presidential nominee John McCain made a similar appeal to enhance domestic oil exploration, Bush was sending an unsubtle election year message to the American public: I care about the economic toll of $4 a gallon gas, and Democrats in Congress, who have opposed such an expansion, don't.
But there's a flaw in that logic: even if tomorrow we opened up every square mile of the outer Continental Shelf to offshore rigs, even if we drilled the entire state of Alaska and pulled new refineries out of thin air, the impact on gas prices would be minimal and delayed at best. A 2004 study by the government's Energy Information Administration (EIA) found that drilling in ANWR would trim the price of gas by 3.5 cents a gallon by 2027. (If oil prices continue to skyrocket, the savings would be greater, but not by much.) Opening up offshore areas to oil exploration — currently all coastal areas save a section of the Gulf of Mexico are off-limits, thanks to a Congressional ban enacted in 1982 and supplemented by an executive order from the first President Bush — might cut the price of gas by 3 to 4 cents a gallon at most, according to the Natural Resources Defense Council. And the relief at the pump, such as it is, wouldn't be immediate — it would take several years, at least, for the oil to begin to flow, which is time enough for increased demand from China, India and the rest of the world to outpace those relatively meager savings. "Right now the price of oil is set on the global market," says Kevin Lindemer, executive managing director of the energy markets group for the research firm Global Insight. President Bush's move "would not have an impact."The reason is simple: the U.S. has an estimated 3% of global petroleum reserves, but consumes 24% of the world's oil. Offshore territories and public lands like ANWR that don't allow drilling may contain up to 75 billion barrels of oil, according to the EIA. That may sound like a lot, but it's not enough to make a significant difference in a world where global oil demand is expected to rise 30% by 2030, to nearly 120 million barrels a day. At best, greatly expanding domestic drilling might eventually lower the proportion of oil the U.S. imports — currently about 60% of its total supply — but petroleum is a global commodity, and the world market would soak up any additional American production. "This is a drop in the bucket," says Gernot Wagner, an economist with the Environmental Defense Fund.Still, with Americans hurting at the pump, it may be difficult for environmentalists and other opponents of increased domestic drilling to resist the push for more oil, whatever the cost. As recently as his 2000 Presidential run, McCain had been against offshore drilling, but he changed that position Tuesday, arguing that individual states should decide for themselves. (He remains against drilling ANWR, however, pointing out that "we called it a 'refuge' for a reason.'") The Republican Governor of Florida, Charlie Crist — considered a possible vice-presidential candidate — also flip-flopped, backing McCain's position. Though Democratic Senator Barack Obama and most of his party are against the proposed expansion, McCain and his supporters may have the public on their side: a recent Gallup poll found that 57% of Americans believe we should open up new territories to drilling. "It could help in the long term," says Bruce Bullock, director of the Maguire Energy Institute at Southern Methodist University. Still, he acknowledges that even expanded drilling is unlikely to bring prices down much.Though offshore drilling conjures up fears of catastrophic spills, the petroleum industry rightly argues that safety measures have improved considerably in recent years. A 2003 report by the National Research Council found that only 1% of the oil that entered U.S. waters came from petroleum operations, like the offshore drilling platforms that run in the Gulf of Mexico — which also weathered Hurricane Katrina without massive spills. If it can be done in an environmentally friendly fashion — and with oil companies themselves footing the bill — opening up some new territory to drilling might be worth it. The reality is that our economy will run on petroleum for the foreseeable future, and that while investing in alternatives is the only way to secure truly low-cost energy over the long-term, we'll still need oil for decades more. But any attempt to increase supply must be coupled with even heavier investment in energy efficiency and other methods to decrease oil demand — an approach that, to his credit, McCain has said will be a key part of his energy policy (although in the Senate he has skipped or voted against every fuel efficiency bill since 1990, according to the League of Conservation Voters). In any case, Bush's plan is unlikely to be realized — the Democratic-controlled Congress remains against it, and Bush can't open up the new territory on his own.Even as Democrats and Republicans squabble over a relatively small amount of petroleum, we're missing out on the opportunity to truly break our addiction to crude. This week the Senate again failed to renew the tax credit for renewable energies like solar and wind; the credit, which expires at the end of the year, is key to the healthy growth of low-carbon alternatives. Without it, "the industry will simply stop," says Santiago Seage, CEO of the Spanish company Abengoa Solar. With energy demand skyrocketing, we'll need more oil, and alternatives like solar, and demand-side measures like toughened auto fuel efficiency standards, or tax incentives for Americans to purchase less wasteful cars. We'll have to include action on global warming, like the recently defeated Warner-Lieberman carbon cap and trade bill. A study by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that under the bill, U.S. petroleum consumption would drop by nearly half by 2030 — savings far in excess of the amount of oil we could ever pull from Alaska or the coasts. "We can't drill our way out of this and we can't conserve our way out either," says Bullock. "We need both." Fair enough. But the sad truth is that neither drilling nor conservation will have an immediate effect on rising gas prices, even if they do have an immediate impact on the presidential race.Source: http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1815884,00.html?cnn=yes
posted by Karabou at 6:58 PM EST


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June 15, 2008
Salieri and His Visigoth Entendre
The only downside to living next to an alley is all the trash people throw in our yard. I try to keep it cleaned up, even the neighbor's property on the other side of the alley. I don't want to feel like I'm living in Squalor Holler again. This weekend, we found an unopened bottle of beer in our yard, along with a pot pipe. Yay.

I feel so productive this weekend. While I didn't get to go to the Yellow Springs Street Fair Saturday, I DID do a little more shopping, buying 3 more shirts 60% off, another skirt, and 3 slips. I can't wait till I'm out of the brace and can wear sandals. Tennies and dresses don't mix, unless you're power-walking to work in NYC.

Saturday, I also cleaned the bathroom, did all the laundry, and cleaned up the kitchen some. I still need to vacuum the living room, but I wanted to take a break. And I had Amanda's stepson came down and mow the lawn for me. Our lawnboys have cut and run with the pre-paid $10 from the last time they mowed for us. Young kids don't understand the concept of long-term earnings. They could easily have earned a cool $100 off just us by the end of the summer, if not more because they were mowing more than just our lawn. But they chose to take the $10 pre-payment and not come back.

They DID show up Tuesday with some suspicious story about how both their mowers were broken, and they couldn't mow our lawns anymore...at least until they were fixed...which could be next Sunday. Neither could look me in the eye while they talked, and my gut feeling is that they had earned all the money they had needed to buy whatever it was they wanted, so they weren't coming back. Kids. heh

But if I can get by mowing every other week, I can have Rew mow the lawn for the same price. And I should be able to mow it in a month or so, myself. Progress.

I was amazed at how much better I was able to walk on Saturday compared to Friday; a mere 24 hours made a huge difference. Although, I'm not walking so much better today compared to yesterday, but it's all progress. I'm doing my exercises faithfully, and I already have three times the mobility I had at PT on Friday. I'm just glad I feel like this is already working. The only thing I hate is having to massage my scar for 15 minutes. It feels gross because of the numbness around it. And it's uncomfortable. Bleh.
I did see some trailers for movies I'm looking forward to.

Tropic Thunder: Only because Robert Downey Jr. plays an Australian actor who undergoes a medical procedure to play the black lead in the movie. He's so awesome.

The Spirit: I've never read any of The Spirit storyline, but the trailer was very Sin City-ish, and I think it could be interesting.

Hancock: Has the potential to be f-ing awesome. Hope it lives up to the expectations it's setting.

Mummy Part 164: The latest in the Mummy franchise, it doesn't look bad. I'm glad there's finally ANOTHER mummy to pursue.

Hellboy 2: Duh, awesome.

X-files: So after the fact that I honestly don't even know what to think.

Miracle at St. Anna: I'm intrigued. I might check this one out.

Wanted: OMG James McCavoy, yum.

Traitor: It looks like the kind of film that picks up halfway through the running time and then really gets good.

Babylon AD: Vin finally got some work again...in a futuristic, sci-fi movie. Go figure. I just pray he doesn't kiss anyone. yargh.

Mirrors: A Kiefer Sutherland Sci-Fi Original movie in the making.

Bangkok Dangerous: Only Nicholas Cage could make a movie like this look boring.

Defiance: Based on a true story of 4 Jewish brothers who joined the Russian Resistance and built a village in the forest. I remember seeing something on the History Channel on this a while back. Could be good.

The Happening: SPOILERS!!!!!
I saw The Happening today with my cousin. It was pretty much what I expected. There wasn't much of a story, and M. Night pulled his usual semi-wooden performance out of his actors. Mark Wahlberg is an awesome actor, and Zooey Deschanel isn't bad, either. But neither of them had any emotional depth, and Marky Mark was downright laughable in some scenes. I was, however, shocked that M. Night didn't insert himself in some masturbatory role in this film like he has in all the others. He seems to have overcome his case of Kevin-Smith Syndrome.

And the first thing I thought to myself was, "If the power of love saves them, I'm going to choke." I guess I better get something lodged in my throat, stat. My cousin and I were discussing the movie over lunch, as we usually do. Basically, the trees, grass, and bushes have turned on us and are emitting a deadly neurotoxin because we've become toxic to the world. It only seems to affect large groups of people, and then it seems to affect people who are aggressive, angry, or bickering. And if one person is freaking out, the whole group is killed indiscriminately.

Marky and Zooey survive because they run out into the deadly neurotoxin full of love. /gag And yes, there is sort of a twist ending. I suppose not so much a twist, but you know he had to do SOMETHING to try to make the ending quirky, even if it wasn't that Zooey and Marky were really aliens sent to repopulate the earth.

Rent it.

posted by Karabou at 7:59 PM EST

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June 13, 2008
Hazzard's Cooter. tee hee
I had my physical therapy evaluation today. They had a cancellation, and rather than wait until next week, I went ahead and took it.

It wasn't as bad as I feared. It did hurt, but it's already better a day after getting out of the boot. The tenderness will subside with PT, which, by the way, I was informed did NOT stand for Pain and Torture. I remain unconvinced.

I'm supposed to rub lotion into the scar for as long as I can stand every night in order to flatten it out and loosen the skin. Looser skin will help my flexibility and recovery. She rubbed it for about 20 minutes, and towards the end it was really irritating. I also have to wear SPF 50 on the scar. If it burns, and it will burn super easy, it will turn dark brown and stay that way. She said stuff like Mederma isn't really useful at this point; any lotion will do. But I'm also to start some ankle exercises, and I start hydrotherapy next week. I'll be working in the pool for at least two weeks, three times a week.

I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it. I know it's going to help immensely--she said after two weeks, I should notice improvement each week. I can start using an exercise bike with low resistance at a slow speed, as I can tolerate, and she told me to get back in the gym and start doing upper body as I can.

I'm excited to be this far this fast. I've got a ways to go, but I'm already feeling stronger. I may be walking like a 90-year-old lady today, but I know it's just going to get better.

posted by Karabou at 8:26 PM EST


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June 12, 2008
Holy Batmans, Batman!
I'm out of the boot, into the brace, and I can get into a pool!

posted by Karabou at 4:41 PM EST


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June 8, 2008
*whew*
Hell of a weekend...

Got pushed around in a wheelchair, so I could do a little summer shopping while the huge Penney's sale was on. Hurrah for wheelchair rentals. It was a little embarrassing, truth be told, as I don't like to think of myself as so incapacitated. But I was shocked, SHOCKED, at how people stared at me. I mean, when I see a person in a wheelchair, I don't stare; it's not like they have three heads. I think it's rude.

I just couldn't believe it. It didn't offend me, maybe because I know I'll be walking in another week or two without help, but I couldn't believe that people in this day and age are THAT insensitive. I mean, they wouldn't just double-take at me; they would S-T-A-R-E, open mouth, slack jaw stare. It was just insane. I did get one wry comment that made me giggle. Some old lady was standing at the cash register in front of me, and she looked me right in the eye and said, "I love your mismatched shoes. And I'll bet you love them a whole lot less than I do." lol

But I got 3 dresses, 3 skirts, some Capri pants and shorts, and some shirts. I made sure everything would fit over the boot, so I didn't have to take it off. I'm thrilled. I had no summer clothes left, save for 2 skirts and some t-shirts.

Today, mom showed up with my sister and grandma around 3:30pm, and we pulled up all the crap we planted last week. /grumble But my sister should be a landscaper. She really has an eye for it, and she was seriously excited about having blank canvas to work with. She went to Home Depot and bought me Hostas and brought a bunch of her plants from her own garden to share with me. It looks gorgeous.

After 2 hours of pulling myself across the yard on my ass, I was done. I just got too hot, and my foot felt like it was on fire. My arms were aching, and I had bug bite welts all over my arms and exposed legs. I had to get inside and take a cool shower, but I did manage to finish planting all the Impatiens this time. We still need another flat or so to finish the side flowerbed, but the front is gorgeous.

Next stop, the flowerbed on the back of the house and fill dirt and shade grass for the trees. I may not get it all accomplished this year, but next year, I will for sure.
posted by Karabou at 9:50 PM EST


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May 2008 Archive

May 29, 2008
I'm in the boot! I AM IN THE BOOT!
Woohoo! No more cast 4 me!!!111one

I'm ecstatic. He told me I could drive when I felt ready. So I might try it this weekend and see how it feels. I still have to use crutches for the next 2 weeks (at least), but I'm on the road to recovery. I can put my foot down, but I have to ease into putting weight on it. Easy does it! Nice and slow.

So I still have to take it easy, but being able to put my foot down means I'm much steadier and (hopefully) won't be falling anymore. Kev kept telling me not to get my hopes up (and rightfully so), especially when I told him I was taking the boot with me just in case that slim chance of a miracle might happen and he'd let me wear it instead of a cast. Thank god I DID bring it!

Yay!

And in celebration, here's a juicy clip:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/21218/gorgeous-tiny-chicken-machine-show-gtcms-video-juicy
posted by Karabou at 5:32 PM EST


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May 24, 2008
Watch me. Drink me.
It made the bitterness of the last 5 weeks melt away, even if for just a few fleeting moments.
posted by Karabou at 6:40 PM EST


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May 23, 2008
Huhuhuhuh...you said "ass"....huhuhuhuh
So I've been sucked into watching reruns of Beavis and Butthead on MTV here and there. And you know what? It still works. It still makes me laugh and highly amuses the 16-year-old lurking inside my brain.

What I'm not thrilled about is Mike Judge's announcement that he is finally going to proceed with a live-action Beavis and Butthead movie. Who is on his dream list to play them you ask? Sean William Scott and Jon Heder, of course.
posted by Karabou at 5:04 PM EST


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May 22, 2008
I'm at the mall on a diet pill
Well, it started out being a great day. I slept 9.5 hours last night and actually woke up feeling well rested and had enough energy to shower this morning. (I've been showering in the evening before bed because I prefer to have Kevin home and awake should I fall in the bathroom and cripple myself.)

Then I fell on the sidewalk steps while going out to the car. I put my foot down and had enough time to think, "THAT'S not going to do it," threw my crutches out to the side, and just crumpled and rolled. You get hurt when you try to stop yourself from falling. If you can just let yourself go (crumple and roll), you're probably not going to get hurt nearly as bad. Those years of learning to fall correctly in karate have finally paid off. heh

Then my Bagel B.E.L.T. didn't have any egg on it. Whatever fucking retard made my sandwich didn't know that E. stands for EGG. Idiots. I had to have a coworker run the retard sandwich across the street to get it fixed since Kev had already driven away, and I can't do anything about it.

Christ, two more weeks. Just when I was thinking to myself this morning, "Maybe I have it in me to go out to lunch today," I f-ing fall. Now I'm terrified all over again to do anything or go anywhere. I hate this. I really, really fucking hate this.
posted by Karabou at 8:47 PM EST


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May 21, 2008
Zzzzzzzzz
The Name of the Rose: Not a bad detective flick. Reminds me of Cadfael. It got kind of long towards the end.

Déjà vu: More like Deja P.U. Didn't make a lick of sense. They need to just stop with time travel movies.

Never Cry Werewolf: One of the better Sci-Fi Original movies. It was actually entertaining enough to keep me from fast-forwarding through it.

Brian is going to stop and get another new wireless modem for my PC tonight, as the first one died when my PC was set back up the week after my party. I haven't had an internet connection, except for briefly last Friday night. /sigh I have NOTHING to do at home except watch TV. Even the DVD player is acting up.

I went to BD's last night to use my free birthday dinner coupon before it expired. (You get a free meal on your birthday if you sign up for their email list and $5 off a meal for signing up.) That was an ordeal. My elbows hurt so bad by the time I got home, I had to take a Percocet. No one ever tells you that being on crutches makes EVERYTHING else hurt. My foot is fine. I don't need narcotic pain killers for IT. I need them for the rest of my body hurting like hell. My "good" foot cramps up so bad in the evenings it's indescribable. Every muscle, tendon, ligament, and--I swear to god--bone curls up and won't uncurl without 30 minutes of a super-hot heating pad and constant massaging.

Saturday morning, I was laying in bed at 6am just miserable and aching. My shoulders and elbows hurt. My upper and lower arms and hands ached, my back ached, my "good" ankle ached, my thighs ached. It was just ridiculous. I would have taken a Percocet then, but it would have required going to the kitchen sink to get one. So I just laid there in misery for 2 hours. After that, I didn't want to take one because they make me so sleepy.
posted by Karabou at 9:44 PM EST


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May 20, 2008
Who needs a title anyway?
Okay, why am I supposed to feel sorry for someone who CHOOSES to live in her car, rather than go somewhere more affordable?

If I had to choose between homelessness and moving somewhere more affordable, I'd move. …I suppose because I have half a brain.posted by Karabou at 10:22 PM EST


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May 18, 2008
Who needs a title anyway?
Rough weekend. I've hit that point where I'm SICK. TO. DEATH. of these crutches, of not being able to do anything, and not being able to go anywhere. When my computer was hooked back up on Friday--after being dismantled and moved for my party--the wireless modem didn't work. So I can't get online to do anything. So my options for entertainment at home are A) Watch TV B) Watch TV or C) Watch TV. I'm so sick of watching TV I could puke. I've watched at least 30 movies in the past three weeks, and I'm SICK of watching movies.

I crawled upstairs on my hands and knees yesterday morning to play WoW, which I was able to do for about an hour before my foot started hurting from not being propped up.

If I'm ever paralyzed, I want assisted suicide. If I have to live my life at the mercy of other people, I'd rather be dead.

Tanya stopped by Saturday with her boys for a bit. And Amanda ran a few errands for me, vacuumed the living room, and chatted for a while. The company was nice. Sunday, I was so bored and miserable I wanted to stab myself in the eye. And I have another three weeks to go.

I know that no matter how angry, irritated, and unhappy I am I'm still going to be in the cast another 3 weeks. Part of me feels like I should just get over it and make the best of it, and the other part of me wants to choke the first part of me to death with a tube sock. So far, the evil part is winning.
posted by Karabou at 11:01 PM EST


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May 16, 2008
Faster, faster, thrill, thrill!
I've got the halfway-there itch. I just keep thinking, "Three more weeks, and you get to walk again." Argh. There are so many things I need to do around the house.

My coworker took me to Victoria Secret yesterday, so I could get my free panty. Despite her dropping me off and picking me up at the absolute closest door, my elbows feel someone hit them with a sledgehammer. 10 times. I could barely make it to my room on crutches last night, and they still hurt this morning. /sigh I guess I'll just not go anywhere for another three weeks.

I'm getting stir crazy. I'm not a sedentary person, and all this "doing nothing" is making me bat-shit crazy. I crave sugar constantly, I'm guessing as comfort food because I'm unhappy.

Good news is we got the drain in the basement fixed. $185 later, a 120-foot snake brought back a giant clump of roots. Guess I'll be getting some root killer into the pipes…when I can go buy some. The bad news is, there IS a leak in the basement wall. It's minor, and it's right over the drain (thank GOD). So we'll have to patch that and seal it when it stops raining. I'm just thankful Kev is the one who saw it leaking. I swear to god he never believes me unless I can rub his nose in it.

I need to check the gutters because I think they're gunked up with leaves, even though we have those super fancy covers over them. I wanted to plant flowers and put down fill dirt and shade grass under the trees, put in some bushes. Those things will probably have to wait till next year now. Blah.

And on a side note, I watched Mansfield Park for the first time. How did this movie escape me for over a decade? I loved it.posted by Karabou at 10:11 PM EST


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May 13, 2008
I’m your daytime waitress at the taco tiki hut Got my stitches out today and was told I had to go the full 6 weeks in the cast. I nearly cried. Heh

I got hot pink today, and I'm getting aqua next time. Springy colors! My next cast change is in two weeks. He said most doctors would just say, "See you in 3.5 weeks!" But he likes to check the wound and make sure all is healing the way it's supposed to, and people like to see their leg. He said people get frustrated when they have to spend 6 weeks in a dirty, stinky, itchy cast. I totally agree. It's been mildly amusing being able to get a different color cast every week.

So whatever. Here I am. This Friday will be the half-way point.

My birthday party went off without a hitch. I guess the way to get god to NOT hate my parties is to just not give a shit whether it turns out or not. I had about 20 people turn up, and I think everyone had a pleasant time.
posted by Karabou at 8:28 PM EST


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May 6, 2008
Post-op #2 down
They took the tape off my wound and gave me another cast, purple this time. I should have done pink last week when I was home, and then I could do blue next time. But I'll probably just go to blue again next time, unless I feel feisty and decide neon pink is the way to spend my last 2 weeks in the cast.

He said I should be feeling some tingling, itching, burning, or SOMETHING that would signal that my body is "making new tendon." But honestly, I'm not sure that I have felt anything. And I don't know what that means, as far as my recovery goes. It does worry me somewhat. But I've got a while to go, and maybe I'm just not feeling my body "make new tendon." Hrrmmm.

I get my stitches out next Tuesday, get my final cast, and re-evaluate in two weeks to see if I'm ready to get off crutches. Let me tell you kids, it's not going to be fun walking on this for the first couple of weeks. And physical therapy will probably make me want to cut it off. Argh.

I saw Ironman Sunday, and it was quite possibly the best superhero movie I've seen to date. Maybe that's because I've had a crush on Robert Downey Jr. since I was like 11. And he just keeps getting hotter.

Yesterday, I woke up with my foot so swollen I could barely stand it. I couldn't figure out why, all of a sudden, it was swelling like the Hindenburg. My m-i-l asked me if I had eaten anything salty Sunday night, and I had, indeed, consumed super salty Cassano's pepperoni pizza that night. Problem solved. No more salty fare until I'm out of the cast. At least I figured it out and can make sure it doesn't happen again.
posted by Karabou at 3:45 PM EST


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May 3, 2008
Meat Palace of my dreams
Went to the meat palace for my birthday lunch today. Yum. I actually made it through all 10 kinds of meats, though I skipped the lamb but had seconds on one of the beef courses. Numnumnum. The "starch of the day" was awesome. And the little cheesy bread balls are so good.
Oh yeah, a few more movies...
Apocalypto: I was really enjoying it up until the 30 minute forest chase, and then it turned into some kind of Rambo revenge sequence.
Bright Young Things: James McAvoy, David Tennant, AND Dan Akroyd? How could I go wrong? It was okay.
Blood Rayne 2: Deliverance: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Babel: I watched most of it in 1x fast forward, since it was mostly subtitled. I don't feel like I missed anything, I saved myself over an hour of time, and I still guessed a bunch of stuff early on that was supposed to be all Ah-ha!
posted by Karabou at 3:45 PM EST


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May 2, 2008
Super Helico!
Blah, my stitches hurt. 10 or so more days to go. /whine
I've watched so many movies this week, I can't even remember them all. That and the painkillers have made me rather hazy the whole time.
The Return: So boring you'll wish SMG would die to make it interesting. I mean, it was really, REALLY boring. NOTHING happens.
The Messengers: Surprisingly not a horror movie, at least not the kind you think it is by the commercials. Still awful, but about 30 steps up from The Return.
One Crazy Summer: Highly overrated. Demi Moore wears giant, ugly fat-chick clothes the entire movie. John Cusack displays his skinny legs and little talent.
Last King of Scotland: Had this been a true story, it would have been way cooler. But I suppose it wasn't bad. And I got my James McAvoy fix. yum.
The Pursuit of Happyness: Not awesome. I wasn't all that interested in the characters; I just wanted to see him triumph and watch the credits roll.
I watched at least six other movies, but I swear I can't remember what they were. Awesome.
posted by Karabou at 2:18 PM EST


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April 30, 2008
Choo choo chooey
The furnace problem wasn't the furnace at all. It was the thermostat. Some months ago, I had knocked it off the wall somehow, probably with wild flailing. The guy said he was amazed it worked at ALL after that--the wires were just hanging by a thread, and one had come out, thus killing the signal to the furnace. He re-wired it, and he was super nice. If you're in the Kettering/Centerville area, I highly recommend A-ABEL. They're pretty good around here. But avoid them in Fairborn...not so good at that office.

So that was about $140 to fix, and the chimney was only about $69. So it was as bad as it could have been, I suppose--just not money I wanted to shell out right now. But oh well. we'll get this all squared away eventually. I believe my deductible for my surgery is already paid because of the boot and brace and cortisone shots I've had so far this year. My deductible is only $300, and I know that's been met. So here's to hoping I don't owe too much on it. Kev still has a couple of $100 ER visits due yet. Blah.

My stitches are starting to hurt like a biatch, but I think it's normal; I had stitches in my neck a decade ago, and I think as the wound healed, it hurt MORE because the stitches were irritating the healthy skin.
posted by Karabou at 9:46 AM EST


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April 29, 2008
Blah and double blah
Now the furnace isn't working. AGAIN. Someone is coming out around noon, non-emergency, to fix that. I've got the chimney guy coming to repair my chimney cap today at 3pm, and to hopefully NOT find raccoons living in it. My brakes went out and had to be repaired, and now I'm going to have a ton of medical bills. Grrrrrrr...
posted by Karabou at 8:34 PM EST


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April 28, 2008
One down...
Had my first post-op today. I got a shiny new royal blue cast, which I adore (oddly), and he said my stitches couldn't look better. I'll have a cast change every week until the stitches come out, which could be closer to three weeks. The nurse said he tends to be very conservative on stitches, and I suppose I can see why on bendy parts like the ankle.
My stitches don't hurt terribly; it's more of an uncomfortable creepy feeling. The skin on both sides of the wound is tingling, like when your skin crawls. It's very odd. And it hurts like hell when I smack my foot on something. GAWD. And of course, that's something I do at least twice a day. At least.
I've only taken one pain pill since I got up, and that was to combat the possibility of intense pain at my appointment, but there wasn't much. Thank god. I'll keep taking them at bedtime, since I tend to move around a bit more in my sleep than when I'm propped up on my butt in the recliner.
I'm probably just going to stay home and take it easy this week. My family and friends have been yelling at me to just rest, and I suppose I should. I'm just not a "rest" kind of person. I sit in the chair with a cat draped over my legs and think about all the housecleaning I could be doing, the laundry, the bathroom, the vacuuming, the straightening... /sigh
posted by Karabou at 6:05 PM EST


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April 2008 Archive

April 30, 2008
Choo choo chooey
The furnace problem wasn't the furnace at all. It was the thermostat. Some months ago, I had knocked it off the wall somehow, probably with wild flailing. The guy said he was amazed it worked at ALL after that--the wires were just hanging by a thread, and one had come out, thus killing the signal to the furnace. He re-wired it, and he was super nice. If you're in the Kettering/Centerville area, I highly recommend A-ABEL. They're pretty good around here. But avoid them in Fairborn...not so good at that office.

So that was about $140 to fix, and the chimney was only about $69. So it was as bad as it could have been, I suppose--just not money I wanted to shell out right now. But oh well. we'll get this all squared away eventually. I believe my deductible for my surgery is already paid because of the boot and brace and cortisone shots I've had so far this year. My deductible is only $300, and I know that's been met. So here's to hoping I don't owe too much on it. Kev still has a couple of $100 ER visits due yet. Blah.

My stitches are starting to hurt like a biatch, but I think it's normal; I had stitches in my neck a decade ago, and I think as the wound healed, it hurt MORE because the stitches were irritating the healthy skin.
posted by Karabou at 9:46 AM EST


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April 29, 2008
Blah and double blah
Now the furnace isn't working. AGAIN. Someone is coming out around noon, non-emergency, to fix that. I've got the chimney guy coming to repair my chimney cap today at 3pm, and to hopefully NOT find raccoons living in it. My brakes went out and had to be repaired, and now I'm going to have a ton of medical bills. Grrrrrrr...
posted by Karabou at 8:34 PM EST


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April 28, 2008
One down...
Had my first post-op today. I got a shiny new royal blue cast, which I adore (oddly), and he said my stitches couldn't look better. I'll have a cast change every week until the stitches come out, which could be closer to three weeks. The nurse said he tends to be very conservative on stitches, and I suppose I can see why on bendy parts like the ankle.
My stitches don't hurt terribly; it's more of an uncomfortable creepy feeling. The skin on both sides of the wound is tingling, like when your skin crawls. It's very odd. And it hurts like hell when I smack my foot on something. GAWD. And of course, that's something I do at least twice a day. At least.
I've only taken one pain pill since I got up, and that was to combat the possibility of intense pain at my appointment, but there wasn't much. Thank god. I'll keep taking them at bedtime, since I tend to move around a bit more in my sleep than when I'm propped up on my butt in the recliner.
I'm probably just going to stay home and take it easy this week. My family and friends have been yelling at me to just rest, and I suppose I should. I'm just not a "rest" kind of person. I sit in the chair with a cat draped over my legs and think about all the housecleaning I could be doing, the laundry, the bathroom, the vacuuming, the straightening... /sigh
posted by Karabou at 6:05 PM EST


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April 27, 2008
Bedunka dunk, junk in da trunk...
I'm back in the land of the living, if not just a little groggier for wear. They gave me Percocet, which kills the pain but makes me drowsy. It's hard to watch a movie when you're constantly nodding off. I feel somewhat narcoleptic.

Another weird side effect is the vivid, lucid images that hit me when I shut my eyes. As soon as I start to doze off, I get at least one or two, and they are completely random. The last one was seeing my mom drop two buckets in front of me, and I could feel and hear them hit the floor, and it jarred me awake. Too bad my mom hasn't been here since yesterday...

It's almost as good as the terrifyingly lucid, vivid dreams I got on Voltaren. But the things I see are totally random, rather than nightmarish. Hopefully, I'll only need them a few more days. I'm sticking to 1 pill every 5 hours, and it seems to be cutting the pain to an acceptable level. The last thing I want to do is sleep for the next week and nothing else. And I'm not fond of being off my tits 24 hours a day all doped up. It makes me feel useless.

Kev set up my PC on the kitchen table, so I can do more than just watch Tivo and be bored. I can at least work on my editing, blog, and play some WoW to change it up.

I have my first post-op appt. tomorrow, and I'm interested to see what he'll do, other than look at me, tell me I'm still alive, and to check back in next week. I don't get my stitches out until two weeks after surgery. They'll be so itchy next week. ugh.

Friday wasn't terrible. I was really irritable when I got there. It was a ghost town, unlike Kettering Hospital was at 6am when Kev had his sinuses done. I was in that mode where I just wanted shit to get going and be done with it.

The male nurse blew my first vein, and I came as close to fainting as I ever have. It wasn't that it hurt so much, but I was so scared of IV sedation because I didn't know if it was going to be as good as general anesthesia (which it was, btw. I highly recommend it). And when he muttered, "Ugh, I blew it." I started shaking so hard I couldn't control it, nearly started sobbing hysterically, and then the world started to get really dark. The next thing I knew, I had 4 nurses on me (Kev said it's his dream to be able to say that. heh.), one patting my shoulder, one holding my hand, one wiping my face down with an ice cold cloth, and the fourth trying to stop the bleeding in my blown vein. They practically threw the bed down flat to keep me from passing out.

I think I scared the shit out of the guy who blew my vein...that and made him feel really bad about it because of my near-fainting. It was just the fear, anxiety, and stress of it exploding in that one moment of, "Oh christ. He's got to do it AGAIN."

The last thing I remember was helping them get me onto the OR table, and the SECOND my head hit the pillow, I don't remember anything else. They ninja'd that shit on me. lol But it was great. Just as good as general. If you have the choice, go IV sedation.

And then I freaked out the nursing staff when I came to as they were moving me from the OR table to the gurney to take me to recovery. I woke up, started talking, and was completely lucid and awake before they even got me back to my recovery space. heh I tried to warn them that I come out of it really fast. The nurse was just looking at me completely confused. I said, "I'm the fastest you have EVER seen someone come out of anesthesia, aren't I?" To which she replied, "Uh, YEAH."

Before I even got put into my recovery area, I was asking for food, drink, thanking my doctor, and asking to see my husband...all in about 5 seconds. Kev said when the nurse came out to get him, she asked if he could make me stop talking. LOL He said he's been trying for 10 years and hasn't been successful yet. I think she was overwhelmed with me asking her detailed questions about what was done, etc. when I'd been awake about 5 minutes.

But my ankle wasn't as bad as it could have been. There was no debris, so the tendon hadn't started shredding yet. The longus and brevus tendons lay on top of each other behind the ankle bone, and the top one hammered the bottom one flat as a ribbon (they're supposed to be cord shaped). So he had to fold the bottom one in half to make it durable and cord-shaped again. So that should do it. I'm on crutches for the next 5-6 weeks and absolutely CANNOT put any weight on my foot whatsoever during that time.

My family is pushing me to stay home the full week I requested off, and I'm probably going to relent. While I think I could probably go back on Thursday, part of me feels like I should just rest and not push myself (like I always do) and end up screwing this all up. Kev said his biggest fear is that in a fit of stubbornness (me? *shock*) I'll end up hurting myself all over again if I don't just let it sit. And he's right. *sigh*

The pain really isn't too bad, but if I so much as brush my toes against something, it twist my ankle a half a millimeter and makes me cry out. argh. That and the skin around my stitches keeps twitching, which sucks ASS, let me tell you.

So I'll be sitting around all week, somewhat bored, but definitely hopeful that all this is going to be worth it. The doctor seemed to think that my prognosis was excellent, especially since there was no shredding. That would have been the worst case scenario. So my tendons will be left to rest, reseat themselves where they should be, and heal.

Hurrah!
posted by Karabou at 6:25 PM EST

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April 24, 2008
Bring out the gimp...
I'm trying to savor every second of my soon-to-be temporarily limited freedom. I keep thinking about how hard even the smallest tasks are going to be, bathing, getting a drink, making myself breakfast, will I even be able to drive to work once the splint is off and the stitches are out? Getting up in the night to pee is going to become a chore.

I can put NO weight on my right foot for as long as I'm on crutches, which could be 6-8 weeks. It sucks. I hope to god it's worth it.

I'm an extremely independent person, and the prospect of having to rely on others to do so much for me makes me want to scream. Oh well, better to get it over with now and, hopefully, still retain some summer to enjoy.

I've got a Tivo jam-packed with enough movies to last me for a week, and I'm hoping I'm not so doped up on painkillers that I can't think. I don't find that fun…at all.

And then the hospital billing department called to tell me that their facility is out of network to my insurance, and before I could tell them to cancel the surgery, they assured me I would be charged the in-network rate as a courtesy to my doctor's patients. I would have cancelled it, otherwise. There's no way I'm paying out-of-network fees when my doctor is in-network.

She gave me her name and direct number in case there are any discrepancies, so hopefully they'll have their shit together enough to get it right the first time. But I'm not holding my breath.

I should be home by noon tomorrow, and I likely won't be posting any updates until I can manage to get up and down the stairs, which could be a few days. So wish me luck. :)posted by Karabou at 4:22 PM EST

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April 23, 2008
When it rains, it pours...
I heard this god awful squealing coming from the front end of my car as I was driving this morning. I was afraid it was my brakes, rotors specifically, and it was. I have to have new rotors put on the front and new brakes all the way around. I heard the noise once before on my first Taurus, and it was $$$ to fix it, so I was pretty sure I was screwed.

I'm just p*ssed that it never made a squeak or a grind until it was too late. It had "new" brakes on it when I bought the car in, what, 2002? I suppose I should have had them looked at periodically.

So on top of all the medical bills I'm about to pay, I now also have to shell out $500 for my car. /sigh
posted by Karabou at 6:43 PM EST

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April 21, 2008
When life gives you lemons, say, "F*ck the lemons!" and bail.
PI feel like my head is spinning, I have so much to do before Friday, both at work and at home. Argh.

I went to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall on Saturday. It was great. I really liked Superbad, and I think this was funnier than that. And it's got full frontal male nudity. Three times. Score one for the ladies. Woot!

I highly recommend it. Check it out. I'm just glad actually funny movies are finally being made again. Will Ferrell is a one-trick pony, and while his films might get a couple of guffaws out of me, they're not really funny. It doesn't take Hollywood star power to make a great comedy. I think they're FINALLY understanding that.

Judd Apatow's crew seems to be getting it right. I just hope they don't go the way of Ferrell and just make a bunch of crap to make money. So far, it's all been pretty good. The upcoming Pineapple Express looks like it could be fantastic. It's got one of those trailers that actually makes me feel something. And I'm looking forward to Get Smart.

In other news, I'm playing phone tag with a surly NP, trying to get my pre-op physical scheduled. I'm really sorry her workday doesn't start until 12:30, but I need this shit sorted NOW. I have too much going on this week to piss around and not know when I'm available.
posted by Karabou at 12:42 PM EST

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April 19, 2008
Nauru
Prologue.

Act One.

First I wept.
Then I shook with rage.
http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=253
posted by Karabou at 9:51 PM EST

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April 16, 2008
It's oooon.
I'm all set up. Surgery next Friday (25th) at the old St. E's medical building. I'm so ready.

And because I need to make sure I have the newsletter done, I don't have to go to the spring conference.
posted by Karabou at 10:01 PM ESTTop


April 15, 2008
Bring it on! Oh, it's already been broughten!
It's surgery time. It'll either be next week or the week after, according to the nurse this morning. I was kind of annoyed I couldn't schedule it myself, but oh well. I'll know an exact date by Friday.

Recovery isn't too terrible. I'll be on crutches for 2-8 weeks, depending on what he has to do. Then back to the boot for 3 weeks or so, then the brace, and PT. But he won't be able to project my recovery schedule till he gets in there.

Thankfully, we're skipping the MRI. He said it's a 50/50 crapshoot on accuracy on what the radiologist thinks is wrong because the two tendons involved are on top of each other, and they're really thin and hard to see. I'd rather not pay my deductible on the MRI, quite honestly. If it would actually be useful, I'd be all for it.

It'll be local anesthesia with IV sedation, which I'm guessing is twilight sleep, like they do for colonoscopies and the like. And they'll tie my leg down to the table. Sounds a little freaky, but I'll get through it. I was nervous about general anesthesia because of my bradycardia, but unless I'm twitching like crazy, he said he won't have to put me under.

I'm so ready. I want this to work. I can't get my foot wet if I have a cast on, and he said he won't do waterproof casts on feet because the water won't drain out of the bend, which makes your skin turn to mush. (ugh.) I might have to buy a shower chair, because I'm not sitting in our disgusting tub to bathe, and it doesn't look like I'll have a new tub put in before the surgery, unfortunately. Oh well, we'll make it work.

Even if I don't have a cast, he said I won't be able to put any weight on the foot for several weeks. So I could bathe, but I wouldn't be able to stand, unless I did it on one foot, which is not going to happen in a shower. Heh

I'll only be off work for about a week (maybe less), depending on my pain level. He said it might only be a few days. Maybe I'll get lucky and have the surgery on a Thu or Fri, and I'll have the weekend to recuperate. I don't want to use up my vacation days. Blah! Posted by Karabou at 10:36 PM EST

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April 14, 2008Up next: more ambitious unicyclists!
Not much happening lately.

I go to my podiatrist tomorrow to, hopefully, schedule surgery and get my ankle fixed. It's been 3 months; let's get the show on the road. I'm tired of not being able to even go for a walk outside. I feel like a fat, lazy blob that's just getting blobbier as this drags on.

I was looking at recovery, and I've seen extremes of "I was off work for six weeks" to "I was off work for two weeks" while recovering. There's no way in hell I can take 6 weeks of work. And as Kev pointed out, it's really dependent on your work ethic. I could handle two weeks, but it would be a nightmare coming back. I'd likely end up working from home while still having to take vacation days because administration here refuses to let anyone work from home.

But anyway, I'm ready. I want to be recovered in time to be able to walk at Gencon. And I'm not really keen on losing all my summer fun because this just keeps dragging out. From what I've read, it's usually two weeks in a surgery splint, 3 weeks in a cast, 3 weeks in the boot, and then 3 weeks in the brace while doing PT. And PT usually lasts 6-8 weeks. I just want to get it going, and I'm hoping I can get a waterproof cast, so I don't have to sit in our disgusting old tub with my leg propped up. I think I'd rather do a sponge bath than do that. Heh.
Posted by Karabou at 10:17 PM EST
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zomg roxors
Blah.

I’m drowning in catch-up work. I’ve got 2 weeks of newsletter layout, 2 video tours to film, our company’s spring conference on the 24th, and I might be having surgery this month.

The trip was good. It was tiring, though. I was dragging all day yesterday. Then I woke up at 4:30am from one of my trademark bizarro nightmares, only to fall asleep and have another one. Both had zombie themes.

Dream 1:
It’s always night for some reason, and I’m in the city. There are ape men (a la Planet of the Apes) that will kidnap you and assault you in the streets. And they hang out in dark alleys (mostly around McDonalds’ dumpsters) making obnoxious, ominous chimp noises. And on top of that, there are zombies roaming around, mostly headless, that will grapple you and try to squirt blood out of their neckhole into your mouth to turn YOU into a zombie. At one point, one had me pinned against a fence and kept spraying me with blood, and I kept moving my head to dodge it. I don’t remember how I got away, but I was pissed my brother wasn’t saving me.

Then I’m in this house with 2 guys, and the one’s family lives there. Well, his zombie-fied, Dead Alive mother who has tentacles and lives in a blood-filled cave beneath the house with her 20 blood-covered clones. And her husband is armless and jammed in a wall up to his chest and so decomposed you can barely see his face. And her other son is in a zombie Frankenstein-like state, occasionally pulling his dad out of the wall and carrying him around.

We’re trying to get out of the house, and I’m yelling at the guy that lives there to stop holding us up because they’re trying to break down the door. Finally, I just jump out the window and run away.

Dream 2:
I’m at some party, and we’re all laying on this big bed. I get up to go do something, and the host gets electrocuted because a taser is hooked up to it. So he becomes a zombie, and he keeps trying to serve us blood-covered strawberry shortcake blondies.Posted by Karabou at 8:52 PM EST
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April 3, 2008Chop it off, doc.
The conference has been somewhat disappointing. I had hoped that being the Photoshop WORLD conference meant they would have some classes that were more advanced…something that would be mind-shattering to a mostly self-taught user like me. But honestly, it hasn’t. I’ve been largely unimpressed, as most of my classes didn’t have more than a nugget or two I could take away. And I don’t feel that the stress of flying and the expense of coming here (even though it’s not my money) has been worth it.
It was also a slap in the face to find out today, after my class let out at 12:45, that there was no shuttle service back to the hotel until 5pm. My next class didn’t start until 4:45, and I couldn’t walk back to the hotel—it’s about a mile away. I can only assume this was the conference planners’ nefarious scheme to get people to go to the tech expo, which, by the way, was extremely pointless and boring to someone like me. So I staggered over to the Denny’s across the street for lunch (the only other choice was McD’s or Red Lobster) and was annoyed to hell and back by some waiter who thought he was being cute by constantly hitting on me because I was one of those sad f*cks dining alone in a restaurant while reading a book. All I wanted to do was read my book, eat my sandwich, and be left alone, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Every 30 seconds he sauntered by and demanded I "give him that beautiful smile."
Newsflash to men:
Telling a woman to smile repeatedly just pisses her off. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I don’t walk around all day with a dumbass grin on my face, nor do I want to. Don’t harass me when I’m obviously already uncomfortable. Several times, my mouth was full of food, and he actually waited for me to swallow my bite, all the while saying, "Come on! Smile, beautiful!" I guess I’m supposed to feel flattered that some middle-aged, overly tan waiter at a Denny’s was hitting on me. But all I really felt was uncomfortable, awkward, and annoyed. Sometimes, women just want to be left the hell alone. And with me, that’s pretty much always the case.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not sitting here thinking, "Woe is me! I’m apparently so beautiful that men can’t stop hitting on me!" I don’t think I’m particularly amazing or gorgeous, but definitely not unattractive. But it makes me feel weird when I’m approached by f*ckwits who think they’re being smooth. This isn’t getting my point across. Okay, I really don’t think I’m all that, so when I get hit on, I think, "What’s wrong with that guy?" I also don’t think I’m ugly, but I’m also not full of myself. I’m not one of those people who think everyone is hitting on them or wants them. I just seem to attract the really bizarre, overt mashers who give me a story to tell. It would be a far better trip if, in my free time, I could actually go somewhere other than my room. I went to the pool for 30 minutes yesterday and seriously felt like I was going to explode in a ball of flames. I’m not adjusted to the beautiful 85-degree, sunny weather, and it really just makes me kind of sluggish and exhausted. But I’m afraid to take off my brace to get in the pool because walking without it after the cortisone shot has been extremely painful. So here I sit, in my room with a view overlooking the pool, imagining I’m out there enjoying myself. Yeah, poor me. I’ll shut up about the beautiful weather. Heh
All the windows in every building I’ve been in have this weird tint to them that makes the sky constantly look overcast and gloomy. And when you step outside, you’re all, "Holy crap! It’s beautiful out here!" And it’s not the kind of shady tint we have in Ohio , where it just darkens everything. It’s like you can still see the brightness, it’s just…weird. I can’t explain it.
I was just thinking to myself how I’ve been pretty much pain free all day, and then I got a stab of pain that made me burst into tears momentarily. As soon as I get back, I’m getting surgery set up. I’m so tired of this.And Kev is the sickest I’ve ever seen him, and he’s home alone. Tuesday, he went to one of the docs in our office on the recommendation of the one I saw Monday. She gave him an inhaler based on what he said the other doc told ME. This is the same doc that misdiagnosed my ankle. Neither of us will ever, ever see her again. She’s just sleepwalking through her job as a physician. Wednesday, he was coughing up blood, and his mom took him to the emergency room. He said the docs treated him like he was wasting their time, but, still, no one has told him what to expect with pleurisy. And today he’s been vomiting all day. His mom tried to get him an appointment with her doctor, but they said that unless he was switching permanently, they wouldn’t see him. They didn’t want to undermine what his regular doctor told him. So how is he supposed to get a second opinion? He’s decided he’s just going to wait and see how he feels tomorrow. I talked to his mom like 3 times today, and she said she’ll make sure she checks in on him tomorrow, whether he likes it or not. I’m hoping he just caught a 24-hour bug on top of what he already had. I can’t even pretend I’m not seriously distraught that he’s so sick, and I’m not there. It’s maddening. I feel totally helpless and sad that he’s so miserable, and I’m not there to take care of him. I can’t wait to see my brother and the rest of the family. In some good news... Kev got a double promotion at work and a PHAT raise. Hurrah! Posted by Karabou at 7:32 PM EST
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April 1, 2008One foot is better than none
The space bar sucks on this laptop, so forgive my spacing issues...

Got in safe and sound.

I broke down and went to the podiatrist this morning before I left on my trip. He gave me my last cortisone injection, which as I predicted, resulted in another wicked cortisone flare up. Only this time, I couldn’t put my foot up and ice it until I’d walked like 400 miles across 3 airports and did much un-desired standing around.

I’ve been icing and elevating my foot since I got to the hotel, and it seriously feels like someone tried to twist it off. Then I banged it on a chair. Yeah, good stuff. Hopefully in a day or so it’ll be better. I don’t THINK I have to do that much walking. I’ll just take it easy outside my classes. Weehoo. And if it gets really bad, I can just go back to the hotel and prop it up.

Anyway, if I have another pain flare up, it’s surgery time. I’m not holding my breath for a miracle cure at this point. I kind of wish he’d have just cut it open 2 months ago and fixed it.Posted by Karabou at 9:45 PM EST
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March 31, 2008If I plan it, it will go wrong. Field of Dreams my ass.
So I leave for Florida tomorrow in what was supposed to have been a really great trip.

Except I have an ear infection, so flying could be downright painful. And I get to take antibiotics the entire time.

And my foot, after a week of pain-free bliss, has decided to go ape-shit since Saturday night. I’m talking the kind of pain that makes you cry out. Great. I was already planning to pack The Boot, just in case, but I’m guessing I’ll end up wearing it for most of the time. Great.

And I don’t really see a point in calling my podiatrist today. What’s he going to tell me to do? Put on the boot? I’m not canceling the trip, so I guess I’ll just have to call when I get back. It’s going on 12 weeks. I’m ready to cut the SOB open and fix it. This is getting ridiculous.

Kev is sick as hell. I took him to the ED at 1:30am Sunday morning. Apparently, he’s got pleurisy. And now his cough is getting worse, and he’s had a fever since we were in the ED. I’m trying to get him in tomorrow morning.

So everything is great. Really.Posted by Karabou at 8:26 PM EST
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March 26, 2008Farewell, Godspeed.
So today’s the day. It was hitting me hard on Monday, being sick and tired and generally miserable, but it’s since passed. There are days now that I don’t think of him. But the days I do think of him are still more frequent.I’ve been careful not to build this day up, and I honestly put it out of my mind until 3am Monday morning.The one thing no one ever tells you about losing someone truly close is how much you will miss them when you do think about them, when something reminds you of them--a photo, a phrase, a memory, a smell, a sound.
I’ve lost friends, acquaintances, cousins, and grandparents, and nothing, NOTHING, prepared me for losing him. Nothing.There's a sad sort of clanging
From the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple too,
And up in the nurs'ry an absurd little bird
Is popping out to say "coocoo."

Regretfully they tell us,
But firmly they compel us
To say goodbye to you.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, good night,
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu,
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.

So long, farewell, Au'voir, auf wiedersehen,
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, goodbye,
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye,
Good bye

I'm glad to go,
I cannot tell a lie.
I flit, I float,
I fleetly flee, I fly.

The sun has gone to bed and so must I
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye.

And then I wrote this post, and found this picture, and sobbed inconsolably.

Posted by Karabou at 8:26 PM EST
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